Breakfast at Tiffani's

Upgrade?

2009-07-18T20:13:00.003-06:00

Check out my new blog site:

batiffanis.wordpress.com

Unfortunately this will be my last post on Blogger.

Lets have a moment of silence.........

Now go visit my new one!

2 weeks of News + No Blogging = Short Sumup

2009-07-09T10:14:00.006-06:00

Superman has been winning lately, so I haven't bothered with phones and computers for the last little while. It's been nice, but I just need to quickly blurb. I'll do this in sections for you... or for me. I'm not sure who needs my thoughts organized more.

Digging up my roots, which might resemble parsnips

I received my mission call in late June! I am going to Manchester, England in October. The cool thing about this (other than the obvious) is that my ancestors came from that area- way back in pioneer times. Also, this is where all of my favorite stories take place (Jane Austen- I'm a real girl), where The Beatles originated (Liverpool is in the Mish), next to where my uncle, Dude, went on his mish, and it also holds the Preston LDS temple.

I can't believe how lucky I am! The anticipation is truly killing me. But I'm determined to make the most of the last couple months I have before I leave. So, to all my friends out there, Call me! Let's make this summer a great one!

Suddenly Cool

If you were a Michael Jackson fan before he recently died, you have undergone some serious ridicule for liking him- up until two weeks ago. This unfortunate event sprang the most annoying phenomenon: everyone is now a Michael Jackson fan. I don't exactly know why I feel annoyed about it, but everytime I hear someone talk about MJ like they loved his music (though they've only heard "Beat it" and "Thriller") and how he was amazing, sweet, and a genius when you KNOW they don't know anything about the guy and his revolutionary sound, it makes me want to bean them in the head with a 2X4.

Suddenly, liking Michael is cool. I don't like it. It'll make completing my Jackson vinyl collection impossible.

*shakes fist*

In the wind of change (Scorpions style)

It's so strange to realize that time doesn't stop for anyone, or anything. And I think that I'm really glad that it doesn't. In fact, I think change is one of the things that makes me most happy in life. It's a mixture of hope, aspiration, uncertainty, courage, and a touch of sheer terror.

I love seeing the change in my friends too- babies, grad school, marriage, coming to the realization that Utah Valley is just not going to get them any further than they already are. All of these things are amazing- and I'm so glad that my friends are willing to embrace the changes in their lives. I'm not sure that they know this, but they help me to have courage to ride in the wind of change myself. Thanks for being a great example to me- I hope you know who you are.

Happiness is...
~ Being with my best friends
~ Working towards a goal- or many
~ Menacing tourist
~ Finally getting the Call
~ Salt Lake romps

"The wind of change blows straight
Into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring
The freedom bell for peace of mind"
~ Scorpions

The Battle Inside My Brain

2009-06-20T13:46:00.002-06:00

There is a constant epic battle in my brain. I think it can be best likened unto the Batman vs. Superman personas.

On the one hand, there is Batman. He is awesome. He is up to date on all the new, hip, technological stuff. He is cynical, sarcastic, and an all-around badass. He's dark and mysterious, keeps secrets, and carries some serious emotional baggage. He has few friends because he basically hates everybody. But despite his Aspergers-like qualities, he makes a pretty functional superhero.

Then there is Superman. He is also awesome. He is a little removed from modern-day technologies (he still uses a typewriter). He is sweet, kind, and genuinely concerned for others. He's bright and happy, but still has to keep some secrets, and really only struggles with the fact that he's not actually human. He has a few more friends than Batman because he actually cares about people- even Lex Luther. Everyone loves this guy- and who wouldn't?

So. Imagine both of these guys living inside my redhead. They duke it out all the time. Sometimes one actually wins, and for a while they rule my cerebellum. (Imagine the poor other guy who lost in a heap in the corner of my head with "K-O" written on their forehead). Now, what exactly is it that they are battling about? Basically their inner essence. Sometimes I think I would like to be the type of person that is totally into cyberspace and iphones- someone that knows all the cool in-and-outs of my information-crazed generation. But, for some reason, when I start getting into this stuff, I totally turn into Batman. I get all cynical and sarcastic and removed from humanity. Then, as I realize how much I actually hate the computer, cell phone, ipod, and such-the-like, that I try to shove it all away. Then, I become like Superman- I start liking life again. I am nicer and have more fun.

So. Why would I want to even try to get in touch with my technological side if I know that Batman beats up Superman? You're guess is as good as mine. Like I said, there're two dudes living inside my redhead. I can't really control them. They just keep fighting till one wins for a while. It's super frustrating and I really wish that Superman would go ahead and just win.

Maybe it would be worth it to slip Superman a tazer, just to keep Batman at bay.

So then, here is my question: is it really THAT cool to be up-to-date on stuff? I mean, does it make me a better person if I know how to use Twitter and get constant, annoying tweets on my iphone every 8 seconds? Does it matter that I haven't seen every funny clip there is on youtube, or that I download music and movies on sketchy foreign websites? Does it even matter that I don't have google at my fingertips... or in my pocket? Apparently, Batman thinks it's pretty darn important.

I'm not going to lie, I like it when I don't have my phone on me or facebook up. I like calling people instead of texting. I like telling people my stories before I blog about them. I like having face-to-face conversations. I like going outside instead of watching movies or youtube.

Maybe I was just meant for the country life.

Happiness is...
~ Going a day without my phone
~ Super lazy saturdays
~ Making brunch for my family
~ Seeing a whole bunch of friends all together
~ Strawberry Days rodeo
~ Seattle-like weather
~ Record shopping with RayRay
~ Having Superman win

"I'm not a prophet or a stone aged man, just a mortal with potential of a superman. I'm living on."
~ David Bowie

Psych!

2009-06-18T21:41:00.005-06:00

According to all calculations, the dreaded "White Envelope" should have been in my mail box today. But, of course Calculations + the Lord's timing = more waiting.

I can wait! I can do this! Bring it on! (Maybe saying this is giving me bad juju?)

On a better note, the Strawberry Days carnival was way fun! Full of vomit-inducing rides, strawberries and cream, caramel apples, and rain. Lots of rain. I've never been to a legit carnival before, so it was a great late-childhood experience! Though, I wish I had the stomach of a ten year old again, I probably could've done more rides if I had one.

Also, one of my favorite patients came in the other day wearing this shirt over her prego-ness. I thoroughly appreciated her sense of humor!

Happiness is...
~Strawberries and cream
~Paying for rides with paper tickets
~"Up" :)
~House, MD
~Blueberry pancakes
~Weekends

“O you who believe! seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient. (The Cow 2.153 )”
~ The Quran

Remembering That I Like Country Music

2009-05-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

*Gasp!*

I know. Sometimes I hate to admit that sometimes I come to the realization that I really do like country music. And, until last night, I had forgotten again (I go through phases.)

Last night I helped Twin and her soon-to-be-hubby, Log, build and finish some made-from-real-log home decorations. They were so awesome! Picture frames, candle holders, signs (Log, I think I'm going to have you make me one :) ), etc. Twin and I were in charge of binding the candle holders together with barbed wire- which, by the way, is really hard to bend. But, by the end of it, they looked quite amazing if I do say so myself.

Anyway, while we were doing all of this, The Country Couple (aka Log and Twin) put on their oldies country music station. And guess what? I danced, that's what.

Yes, dear friends. I remembered that country music is really fun! It brought back memories of road trips with Twin, country dancing with Jordan and Ty, my first apartment of roomies- CareBear, Kimerz, and Ashby- and for some reason, it made me think of making fresh apple cider when I was 6.

So now that I've reverted back to listening to country, I have to curb my mockery of it. *sigh* Giving up an easy target to tease is hard for me, but until I get sick of country music again, I suppose I'll just have to let it go.

Here are some favorites of mine:
~ Chris LeDoux
~ George Strait
~ Willie Nelson
~ Elvis Presley
~ Miranda Lambert

And some "country mixed with a little something else" favorites:
~ Janis Joplin
~ Brandi Carlile

Now that I've accepted country music back into my life, I think this summer will be extra awesome.

Let the good times start-a-rollin!

Happiness is...
~ Playing with Log and Joe
~ Being creative- I made a bow out of barbed wire!
~ Listening to some country music :)
~ Hoping for the best
~ Pink and brown scrubs
~ Realizing sleeping in isn't all its cracked up to be
~ Going on walks
~ Jumping in the pool with your clothes on

"Some folks don't realize that it's a well know fact
Cowboy's and hippies ain't never got along
Was it just coincidence or some weird act of fate
That brought these two together on the road"
~ Chris LeDoux

Getting Used to Summer

2009-05-13T17:55:00.003-06:00

I think I've finally settled down into the mood of Summer Vacation. After the semester ended I kept thinking, "What the devil am I going to do with all of this free time? I don't have to study, I don't have to read anything in particular, I don't have to whisk off to classes... I'm going to go crazy!"

Turns out, however, that I'm doing just fine.

Miraculously I have found many things to occupy myself... like anything I want. I've visited long lost friends, read books that I've had sitting on my shelf since last summer, gone shopping (sorta, you know me), and have watched LOTS of House. I think I could get used to this type of lifestyle- the one where you get to do anything your heart desires :)

So what does my heart desire? Well let me tell you:
~ Go to the Heaton Ranch with Twin
~ Party it up on Twin's wedding day (woot!)
~ Travel to a faraway land call California for a weekend (sunscreen included)
~ Hunt for Trilobites
~ Travel to another faraway land called D.C.
~ Read the rest of the books that are sitting on the shelf unread
~ Watch through season 4 of House
~ And to top it all off, travel to a faraway (or not-so-faraway) land and tell people about Jesus.

Sound like a pretty legit summer? That's because it is! If any of you wish to accompany me, add something to the list, or whatever, let me know! I'll try and pencil you in :)

Happiness is...
~ Family Sorta-Reunions
~ Finding shirts at Forever21 (sometimes it's impossible)
~ Temple Nights
~ Having a Pretty Sweet Summer Lineup
~ Learning Something New- Digital Photography- Thanks Amy!
~ Games with Dude and Dude-lia
~ Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies *YUM*
~ Meeting New Peeps- in the hot tub!?

"All summer single, I wanna be what I wanna be.
Yeah, all summer single, I'm gonna have
what I can see.
All summer single, yes, I don't mind, ya know.
All I want is a good time."
~Billy Idol

Behavioral Science Fail

2009-04-20T20:50:00.003-06:00

Over the past two weeks I've been putting together my academic plan for finishing my degree, plus getting in all of the classes I need for the MCAT, so that when I come back from my adventure, I'll be set to go. I have had to meet with three separate councilors to do this, and I have had some of the funniest, and most surreal experiences from them.

I'll start with the "surreal" councilor first: Mr. H (Or Doctor, as he likes to be called) is my GE adviser. I had to visit him to get the contact info for the Pre-Med councilor, and just to ask him what best way to go about my business was. As we got talking, and I told him my intentions, he proceeded to try and convince me that, because I was getting older (and the older you are when doing school the more likely you are to drop out) that I should forget about my dreams of serving others in far-away places and just plug away through school. He said that he didn't want to see such a good student with great potential to be robbed of her chance to become more than... nothing. If I leave now, I may never get my chance to be a doctor.

I'm not making this conversation up. It really happened!

I endured through his pep talk, relatively calmly and outwardly happily too. Though, I was a bit irked. I kept thinking in my head "I asked for you to point me in the right direction, not to give me your opinion". Oh well, I got it anyway. But, I've decided to take what he said and twist it into opinions I would have actually appreciated. Here they are:

1)I cannot be guaranteed a life devoid of death, divorce, loss, disabilities, and accidents, therefore, I should get the education I need to be able to provide for myself- especially in something that I love and am passionate about.
2)I have talents and abilities that are wanted and useful, and may help to make this world a better place.
3)You. Are. Awesome. ("Why, thank you.")

Now for the funny one: Councilor Number Two- Ms. Behavioral-Science-Failure. For sort, we'll call her MBSF. MBSF graduated with her BS degree in Behavioral Science/Psychology from UVSC about two years ago. She now works for the department at UVU as a Behavioral Science councilor. She's a nice lady, she really is. But you would've thought that she would have picked up a thing or two from slaving through 4 years of psych classes. This woman is quite confused,and the worst listener alive.

Take one: "Wow, those are beautiful pictures on your wall! Did you take them yourself?" I said to MBSF pointing to the kodak pics on the adjacent wall.

"Yeah, I did. They're from a trip to Guatemala I took last year." She says looking at them too.

"I love the black and white one with the old fence..."

"Actually, I didn't take that one."

"What?"

"Actually, I didn't take the one at the top either... or the one in the middle... or the four on the left hand side. Let's see,I think I took the one on the far right corner."

"Uhhh.." I then decide it's just not worth it to continue the conversation.

Take two: "So, I was wondering if you had any suggestions of some psychology classes that might be beneficial for me to have learned for medical school." I say as we're finishing up my degree evaluation.

"I really can't say, I really don't know anything about medical school, I suppose you would want to take Biology, Chemistry, Anatomy..." She says to me with a very confused look on her face.

"No, no. I don't mean science classes, I wouldn't ask you about those. I mean psychology classes."

"Like I said, I think you should probably look into chemistry and biology. But you'd want to talk to the science department about that..."

"No, really. I know. I'm not concerned about those, I already know. I mean, do you think that any of these psychology classes would benefit me to have taken before med-school?" I say, pointing to the course listings.

"Maybe I should help you set up an appointment with the science department..."

She's looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Ugh. Never mind!"

I pick up my thinks and walk away thinking "How ironic."

Happiness is...
~Putting together a plan
~Feeling pretty darn good about that plan
~Knowing I'm making the right decisions for me
~New scrubs
~Waffle Crisp cereal
~Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium
~Slumdog Millionaire
~Ending another semester with flying colors
~Cooking a great meal- healthy too!

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
~Robert McCloskey

Life is Like Longboarding Down Provo Canyon

2009-03-20T12:26:00.004-06:00

Spring is finally hear my friends! And this morning I woke up and had the strong impression that I needed to visit my sanctuary: Provo Canyon. And anyone knows that, when the canyon call for you, you go. Immediately.

While cruising up and down the canyon path, listening to the sounds of spring, letting my mind float to whatever subjects it wanted to visit, and enjoying the warm sun and the cool air kissing my skin, I though of this:

Life is a lot like longboarding down Provo Canyon:

~The happiest moments of the day are the times when you let the wind through your hair, and smile because there's nothing that can bother you in that moment.

~Don't let the bumps in the path stop you, just ride them out.

~On that note, the bumps are some of the funnest parts.

~If you totally eat it, laugh at the fact that your bleeding and keep going.

~That sharp turn between Nun's and Glenn Canyon comes a lot faster than you think, you gotta be prepared!

~Bikers are mean jerkfaces. But just because you know that you'll run into them doesn't make you want to avoid the canyon.

~In fact, you are extra nice to everyone on the path just to prove that longboarders are better than bikers.

~The canyon is never a punishment, it is always a reward.

~Longboarding down Provo Canyon is all about the experience: the sounds of the wheels on the asphalt and the rush of the river, the cool air, the birds chirping,the tingle from the vibration through your feet, and all those damn bugs getting plastered to your face.

~Some of the best memories are made when the sun is down and the moon is full.

~Longboarding down Provo Canyon makes your friendships stronger, and your solitary moments more fulfilling.

So, those were my thoughts this morning. I don't know what I would do without the little bits of time I get to spend in the canyon. There is nothing better than to have something in your life that makes you smile for the sake of smiling while your doing it. I think I'll go again tomorrow, anyone want to join me?

Happiness is...
~ Longboarding down Provo Canyon
~ Feeling the sun on my skin
~ Spring time spring time spring time
~ Billy Joel- And So It Goes
~ Having a shower that put out hot water

"In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong."
~ Billy Joel

Dazzled

2009-03-15T17:14:00.003-06:00

As always, The Velour has brought to the world another dazzling artist. Her name is Sayde Price:

I'm officially a life-long fan. A jaw-dropping beauty of a voice, one that I'm quite envious of. I pretty much just completely love her!

Happiness is...
~ The Devil Whale
~ Sayde Price
~ RuRu
~ Springtime in March
~ Having class canceled
~ Watching for shooting stars

"If apathy's going to kill them they're dead."
~ Sayde Price

They Are Among Us.

2009-03-14T07:48:00.003-06:00

This has been a weekend for decapitating my faith in humankind. Here are three instances within the last two days:

Uno.) I was walking to my car from the Student Center at the UVU, listening to the conversations of people that I passed (because I'm obnoxious like that). This is one of the quips I overheard:

"...I'm going to be shot down for another job. They're doing the background check today, and when they find out about my FELONY, they'll tear up my resume for sure..."

Uhm. Yeah.

Dos.) I was meeting with my research group, discussing which faculty member we were bringing on board to be our "mentor" (because you have to have a professor's name to publish research). Merlin, the guy who is leading our group, is telling us that we need to be careful of which faculty members we let know about our research at all. This, he explains, is because professors are known to steal research information, measures, tests, and assessments and sell them.

"Are you serious?" I ask.

"Yeah," says Merlin, "I made an assessment to measure depression last year, I let Prof. So-And-So know about it, he stole it and sold it to practitioners in California. It hasn't even been tested for validity! It's undergraduate research! And there's nothing I can do about it."

Who would've known that there was an Underground for psychology research? Apparently I'm a bit naive.

Tres.) At the end of the day at PC, a couple of us were chatting in the corral, unaware of the spectacle that had just waltzed in. Jon walks up to me and loudly makes small talk and then very quietly says to all of us,

"Check out the woman with the blond hair over by the gate..."

So, of course, we all glance over. There, standing just 20 feet from us is this "woman", whom I'm not convinced at all is a woman, that, I kid you not, looks like she could be part of the band KISS. She had a huge blonde wig on that made her head and body look like an 80's Bratz doll, and her entire face was painted! She had put white make-up on her entire face and neck, like a geisha, and had precisely painted her lips bright red. She had fake eyelashes on that resembled black toothpicks springing from her lids and bright purple eyeshadow that reached past her drawn on eyebrows.

"Good L..." "What the..." "Whoa."

"There's no way that's a woman. She's got to be a transvestite." I say, almost pleadingly to Jon.

"No. I'm serious. She's here to pick up her son! Her husband is right next to her!"

And he was. A rather dumpy looking guy too.

I'm still not convinced she was a woman. It just doesn't make any sense.

They are out there my friends. People that make you lose all faith in mankind.

Happiness is...
~ Not being a felon looking for a job
~ Getting work at PC
~ Merlin's homemade dinners- from scratch!
~ Watching completely random and weird movies with my research group- like horribly filmed zombie movies and RockNRolla
~ James Taylor and Billy Joel on vinyl
~ Uh... not being a transvestite from the 80's.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the former."
~ Albert Einstein

Cheetos

2009-03-12T19:06:00.002-06:00

If there is one thing in this world that can actually, truly, gross me out, it's throw up. Barf. Chunks. Spew. Whatever you wish to call it. For the most part, I'm fairly safe from having to deal with that particular bodily function. I myself have only felt sick enough to dry heave once in the last five years (can you say, "dehydration and sun poisoning"?) And I don't work at a place that people go to when they're sick- I mean, if you're not feeling well, you just cancel your dental appointment. I don't have friends that get drunk off their bucket and need my assistance holding their hair back while they regurgitate their alcohol. See? I'm fairly safe.

But not today. No, not today.

After a wonderful breakfast at Earnie's with Cheer, He says to me, "Just take the day off! Let's go on an adventure!"

I wanted to! Oh how I would have loved to call in sick and gone a-plundering. But, I have this thing about being responsible... at least at my job. So, I said, "I can't. I want to, but I can't."

And so, I went to work. Things were going great until I get this sweet little boy, whom I'm sure is autistic except for the fact that he makes great eye contact, sitting in the chair, waiting for me to brush his teeny teeth. As I begin to prophy, I'm met with far too much protest from a kid his age, "Yuck! This is yucky!" and "I don't wanna do it anymore!" But, I mean, he's only got 10 teeth to brush, any 6 year old can handle it!

But oh no. Not this one. Instead of just handling it like a regular kid, he gags and ralphs his lunch ALL OVER. You should have seen my escape maneuver from getting barfed on, It happened in slow motion: Me, leaning over his head with the prophy cup in hand, see his eyes dilate and his throat open wide. I slide to the left, push the chair back with my butt, and utter a small "Sshhhh....!" and I leap from the chair and out of the way of the volcanic child erupting ORANGE goo literally everywhere.

"Oh geez." I say.

I summon his mother as I sit him up and start cleaning him off. And he just looks like nothing had happened, the spewing episode hadn't even phased him! As his mom comes in she says, "Oh, not again." and walks over to him.

"Wow honey!" she says, "Looks like you had Cheetos for lunch!"

I had handled the situation splendidly until that very moment. It took every bit of my being to stay composed, though I did gag a little and my eyes were definitely watering.

Needless to say the kid was through for the day, and I wanted to be too.

Next time I'll take up that random "sick day", because now I know Karma will be out to get me with ralphing 6 year olds if I turn them down.

Happiness is...
~ Skillfully avoiding being puked on
~ Getting an A on a test
~ Earnie's breakfasts, or any time of the day really.
~ Finishing yet another great book- The Watchmen

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
~ Mark Twain

Zilactin

2009-03-04T22:57:00.003-07:00

I have found the topical medication from Hades. It's called Zilactin.

For the last, oh, 4 days or so, I've had this canker sore the size of Jupiter in the inside of my lip. Because it's in the most convenient spot, I can feel it's huge, ouchiness every time I twitch. This being the case, I have been prone to complain about it- which was my first mistake.

That first mistake led to another, which mistakes tend to do. My complaining led to the referral of a medicine.

"It'll stop it from hurting!" They said.

Yeah, sure. Sure. The reasoning for it's effectiveness in that category is that it replaces the cold sore hurt with something much, much worse: Alcohol burn! In the mouth!

You can imagine my surprise when I put the gel-from-'ell on my lip expecting it to be an anesthetic, when really, it was a dollop of fire and brimstone!

So now, I have two sores. The original canker sore, and the burn on top of it.

Curse you Zilactin. Curse you.

Happiness is...
~ Watching friends play at open mic night at the Velour
~ Swinging on swings on an uncommonly warm winter night
~ The prospects of having an adventure with an old friend
~ Knowing what Step 2 and 3 are! (To be revealed soon!)
~ Just winging it
~ Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, though quite distant

"Bad medicine is what I need, shake it up like bad medicine. There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease."
~ Bon Jovi

Saving Lives, Tormenting Others

2009-02-26T20:40:00.008-07:00

I love my job. The one where I get to suck spit and pass sharp tools over patient's heads. Sometimes, I think I love that job and my patients too much. I love them so much that I go to great lengths to save their lives. Take Tuesday for instance:

One of my lovely patients came in for her exam. I chatted with her and gave her mild doses of radiation, and never expected to have to save her live. As I wheeled her around in the dental chair, and locked it into position, a large spider came pelting from the ceiling right in front of her face! Her eyes widened in panic, and I, the brave dental assistant, snatched the little cretin right out of the air! I didn't even think, I just did.

And after I "did", I thought, "What did I just do?!"

I hadn't squished the disgusting urchin, and it wriggled in my hands as my own panic set in.

"Oh! Thank you! Don't you hate those things?" My cute patient said to me.

"Heh heh, the day has been saved!" I chuckle back... as I step from the room to find Dad.

"Dad! Take my gloves off! Quick!" I whisper to him urgently.

He looks at me real funny-like as he helps me take them off in one bundle, the spider wrapped inside.

Yes, I love my patients enough to put my nerves on the line for their comfort. Now that's customer service!

On another note, the other week I set Penny Lane's home page to rent-a-clown.com, and she still hasn't figure out how to change it. So every morning when she turns on her internet, the spine-tingling, all-too-creepy circus music fills the room as she audibly shudders and curses my name.

And I laugh.

Happiness is...
~ The Watchmen
~ Getting a moment to read a non-text book
~ Danielle, for helping me find and adventure :)
~ Finally getting the stupid sink un-clogged
~ Valentines Day with Grandma Ruthie- What is VDay without Mr. Darcey Gramms?
~ Getting out to see the boys- thanks for calling me Sky!
~ I hate to admit this, but Katy Perry
~ Feist on vinyl
~ Pretty much any day with Penny Lane

"Bravery is being the only one that knows you're afraid."
~Franklin P. Jones

I've Been Thinking...

2009-02-12T08:42:00.004-07:00

So I've been thinking a lot lately. Not that I don't think a lot anyway... I suppose I should be more specific as to what I've been thinking about. I've been thinking that I should rethink my attitudes and goals in life. That's a pretty big thing to think about. Not to mention scary.

Two quotes have been in my mind, one for a while, and one more recently:

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." ~Lao Tzu

"history has no meaning.
when its not about your life." ~Ryan Holdaway

And what have these quotes led me to think? For one, selling Marley and buying an Element might not be the smartest, most attainable goal in my life right now. Maybe after she dies and I actually need to buy a new vehicle, then I'll start thinking about buying my 4-wheel drive. For two, I need to go on an adventure. A BIG adventure. One that takes me to a place that is so different that I will be challenged on every step. One that makes me see the world in a different perspective. On that shows me how I can make a difference on this green planet. And, for three, a question has been circling in my brains like a broken record, "Am I really heading in a direction that will lead to happiness?"

And so here I am. What do I do now? How do I change the path I'm on? I guess I have to start with one step...

Step one: Get through this semester.

Step two to appear shortly.

Happiness is...
~ Waking up at 7:30 all by yourself, without an alarm clock
~ Getting a second wind for work
~ Realizing that I can change goals, Who's stopping me??
~ Being satisfied with my car, Love you Marley.
~ Relief from the decision to take a break from school this summer
~ One step.

"Lord! We know what we are, but know not what we may be." - William Shakespeare

Stoned

2009-01-21T08:57:00.004-07:00

There are not too many things worse than waking up to your body reviling against you. No, not too many things. Take last morning:
I woke up early to get some homework done before rushing off to class. I got up and plopped myself on the couch. As I sat there with my computer on my lap, I became quite aware that my back was really, really sore. So I fidgeted, changed positions, but nothing seemed to work. And then, it hit me. I can liken the feeling to getting slammed in the side with a metal baseball bat. I was knocked to the floor! As I writhed in pain on the floor, I proceeded like this:

"Gaaaah! WTF?? What is wrong with my body!?" I clutch my right side and panic. Appendixes are on the right side... right? CRAP. I wiggle myself back to the couch with all my might and grab my phone. I dial the first person the came to my panic stricken mind.
"Hello?"

"Daddy?" I say, through gritted teeth.

"Uh... Are you ok?" (The last time I called him "daddy" was when I accordioned my car).

"What side of my body is my appendix on?"

"Are you serious? The right side..."

"Ok, can you take me to the doctor please?"

Needless to say, I was rushed to the doctor. But, of course, as soon as we got there, the pain had ceased. "Shoot." I thought, "What if I made the whole thing up?" But could my mind really make up that kind of horrible pain?

The doctor came in, and through a series of tests that included being poked in all of the sore spots and peeing in a cup, he announced that, no. My appendix was not exploding. "But," he says, "You've got kidney stones."

What?

So now, my days are spent waiting for the pain to subside and my diet had to be changed to accommodate more water than I'm used to drinking. But do now worry, dear friends, I am doing fine! And my appendix and kidneys are in tact!

On the positive side of last morning, it was Inauguration Day! I am so happy to see that prayer and God are still included in the festivities of this nation. I have hope and faith that the leaders of this nation, particularly our new president, Pres. Obama, will allow the Lord to guide them through the trials this nation will see. Good luck to you, Mr. Obama. My prayers are with you.

Happiness is...
~ Not having appendicitis
~ Feeling pride in my country
~ Witnessing a historical event
~ Teachers who let you turn in homework late, due to medical emergencies
~ Back to the Future III
~ Not being in significant pain

"And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"
~The Star Spangled Banner

Resolutions I Can Actually Keep

2009-01-07T09:48:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking long and hard of some New Years resolutions that I can actually keep this year. Here they are:

1. Watch more Shaun the Sheep

2. Play more games. Like Nerts, or Killer Bunnies, or Ticket to Ride.

3. Write to my missionaries- Kim and Jaime :)

4. Go to bed on time. Not at 2am.

5. Visit a different friend every Tuesday (the only night I have off school)

6. Finish a book every month. I'm currently working on "Born Liberal, Raised Right" by Reb Bradley, and "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller. I think if I can keep my recreational reading up, I can get through the semester relatively sane!

Those are my goals for the moment. I know I can keep these at least! I was going to add "be less sarcastic" to the list, but my immediate thought was,

"Pfft. Yeah right."

Happiness is...
~ Shaun the Sheep
~ Reading a good book
~ Finding textbooks on Amazon for $50 less than the stupid book store
~ Tea in the morning... or whenever
~ Planet Earth by BBC

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
~ Oprah Winfrey

Lesson #1 For Future Parenting

2009-01-04T12:37:00.006-07:00

Look at it -^. Just look at it. The infamous video game console in all it's shiny, expensive, awe-inducing glory. Part of the system that has slowly, but surely, taken away the goodness of youth and childhood.

I have the grand opportunity to teach kids to do something active, something healthy, something more fun than any sleek black box can ever offer. But I have had my eyes opened to the harsh reality that not all beings appreciate doing something that does not include vegging on the couch. Not only that, but not all parents understand the necessity to teach their children that there is LIFE outside the room that holds their beloved Wii, Xbox, Sega, PS3 or whatever else is contaminating the American home these days.

Last weekend, I was assigned a new snowboarding class of...one. One child. 6 years old. Normally this would be a cause of rejoicing! A class of one kid! How could it get easier than that? Typically, it can't. However, on that fine day on the snow, this particular child presented himself as being one of the hardest children I have ever come in contact with. He was of normal height for a 6 year old, but a bit overweight, with a mouth worse than that of a sailor. Have you ever heard the F word from a 6 year old kid? I have. It produces a strange quivering in the deep innerds of the ear canals. But not only was this child chubby with a mouth that bubbled over with vernacular tar, but he was in NO WAY interested in being outside.

As I came to understand it, the child, let's call him Billy, wanted to learn to snowboard because he had played Shawn White's video game so much that he was sure that he could not only snowboard, but could do it at a level that would leave Mr. White in the dust. Little did Billy know that in order to snowboard, you actually had to be located outside, on a mountain, in the snow, strapped to a board, using muscles, and wearing winter weather gear. I think his head must've exploded when his parents handed him a snowboard instead of a joy stick when he was brought out to have lessons.

As the day progressed, and as I tried, in complete vain, to teach Billy to snowboard, I became very aware of how his household worked. When he wanted something, he got it. When he didn't want to do something, he didn't have to. If mommy and daddy (or instructor) asked him to stop, stopping is optional.

Because gamer-boy-Billy realized that snowboarding counts as using your legs in a non-sitting fashion, and kept taking of his freaking snowboard on the hill, I decided to give up on this foul creature. He had no balance, no muscle mass (though quite a bit of fat), and was SO ADHD that he could not, and absolutely would not listen to me. Can you say, "DISASTER"?

The rest of the day was spent in the lodge, unsuccessfully drinking hot cocoa (I say unsuccessfully because Billy was so uncoordinated that he proceeded to spill the whole cup of burning liquid everywhere... twice). I tried to get him to have normal, 6 year old conversation (which might include what superhero is your favorite, what kind of animals live in the jungle, or how fast you can run), but of course, Billy would have none of that. Instead, I listened to him go on and on about his Wii (and that he wanted to go home RIGHT NOW to play it), how many people he could kill in various combat games, how he and his friends didn't go to each others houses because they could play and talk to each other through the Wii system at separate houses, how he hated being outside, and that he wanted to make a website that had a collection of movie scenes of people getting killed because it was, "Fun." I wanted to shank myself.

Oh, and at the end of the day his parents stiffed me. I babysat that horrid child for 7 hours and got nothing. I almost wanted to quit my job.

I had to wonder, do they know that their child is like this? Do they realize what kind of citizen of the world they are raising? Probably not.

So... what have I learned from this experience? Let's make a list:
*My child will NEVER have a video game system until they can pay for one themselves.
*My kids will have good language, and never get away with saying curse words
*My kids will not be fat little gamers who get everything their way
*My kid will not get their way if they throw tantrums, make fusses, or whine
*I, as a parent, will not be passive and submissive to my child
*I, as a parent, will be a parent, not a child to my child
*My kids will be active, outdoor loving, grateful, innocent, sweethearts
*My kids will have friends. Friends that play together. Without the use of video games, IM, or cell phones

And, most of all, *I will never stiff a babysitter.

Happiness is...
~ Going home after a horrible day at work
~ Not having over-indulgent, passive, uncaring parents
~ Breathing the fresh, clean mountain air
~ Striped pajamas
~ Seeing all of my cousins and their babies
~ Trying something new- park riding
~ Talking to old friends
~ Hearing about other's happy lives :)

"Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it."
~Haim Ginott

A Quick Look at 2008

2009-01-02T17:58:00.003-07:00

This last year (2008) seems to have flown by, but also to have crept by like cold molasses sliding down a flat grade. It's funny how so much can happen in such a short amount of time. I think this year can be recapped in segments of seasons, because my life always changes with the quarterly intervals of temperature. Call me a woman of all seasons :) Here are the lessons learned from each term:

Winter
*Skills are learned faster by trying to keep up with those better than you
*Never take on the mentality of others just to appear agreeable
*Drive slowly on icy days

Spring
*It is impossible to keep all of your friends happy all the time, though you may try your hardest
*There is no such thing as "Good Timing"
*It's nice to fly south once in a while

Summer
*Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder
*Truth: Happiness and happy endings can never come from unbridled passions
*If you don't have family, you don't have nothin
*Indifference is dangerous
*It's nice to fly south once in a while, and north, and east.
*Not everyone thinks the same, and for that matter, no one has the same understand of anything.
*Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars any heart.

Fall
*Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.
*Putting your heart and soul into something actually does pan out.
*Taking a risk can produce great results
*Sharing a room with someone really isn't so bad
*Sometimes Yoga is the only thing that can make you feel better

I can think of quite of few other lessons learned, but those require their stories. If you'd like to know them, you can always ask :) I loved this last year, but I am so happy to start a new one. I feel like I need a clean slate. A chance to make some changes and make some memories. I think I'll get just that.

Happy New Year everyone! Let's make some resolutions and accomplish many great things!

Happiness is...
~ A fresh start
~ Park City
~ Snowboarding buddies
~ Long distance runs

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”

~William Arthur Ward

PCMR

2008-12-21T08:39:00.003-07:00

Ah. Another riding season has come. And I have a good feeling about this one.

With a new pair of boots, bindings, and will to increase my riding abilities, I think I will actually be able to make something of my riding this year. So, here are my goals for this lovely winter season:
~ Complete control on all terrain
~ Comfort in riding switch
~ Comfort in riding unstrapped
~ Learn to do a 180, butter, and ollie

Good goals, right? I think so. And not that I can't do the above, with the exception of the last goal, I just want to get them down 100% instead of my usual 70-90%. But of course, I have to get used to my new equipment! You may be thinking, "Well whatever Tiff, as if new equipment would make any difference in your riding.", but I'm telling you, it does! These new boots have built-in forward lean, which means that I don't have to do anything to get them to respond. This is a good thing! I'm just not used to it. So now, when I go to make a turn, if I put as much pressure into the turn as I'm used to, it cranks me so hard that I do a complete 360. Whoa. Not used to that. It's kindof like learning to board all over again. But I love them, those boots. They're warm and tight, and well worth the need to relearn to snowboard.

I'm so happy to be back at Park City teaching again this year. Just being up there this last weekend has reminded me how much I love to teach! I love the people up there, and just getting to be surrounded by the snow, mountains, and goggle-faced crowds. I love it. Seriously.

Happiness is...
~ New boarding equip- Nitro Matrix boots, Solomon bindings
~ New friends at work
~ Old friends at work
~ Delicious new places to eat- Guanauato (I think that's how you spell it, it's right next to the Movies 8 in Provo)
~ Minus the Bear

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.
~John Ruskin

2008-12-13T11:27:00.002-07:00

Sometimes,
Fear is more than just it's face value.
Sometimes,
Warnings should be acknowledged.
Sometimes,
The inner battle is better ignored.
And sometimes,
All the good things aren't enough.

But maybe,
It's not about the good things.
Maybe,
It's about something bigger.
Maybe,
There is no such thing as "someday".
And maybe,
Happiness is right there.

But whatif,
Caution is rightly founded.
Whatif,
Choices already made are set in stone.
Whatif,
Nothing means something.
And Whatif,
It's impossible to tell.

Abstract? Yep. I just needed a place to write it.

Happiness is...
~ Going home
~ Not getting eaten by cougars
~ Peppermint kisses
~ Philosophical conversations, via text :P

“Writing a poem is discovering”
~ Robert Frost

Skin Cancer

2008-12-02T20:06:00.004-07:00

Remember that horrible, awful, no good sunburn that I let myself get way back on the 4th of July? I thought I'd just let you all know that the tan lines are STILL THERE! There is a perfect tan that makes it look like I'm still wearing my swim suite while actually in the buff. And there's a spot on my tummy that I'm convinced is skin cancer. Darn my fair skinned-ness! But I seriously just cannot help but laugh because it is so positively ridiculous.

And here I am, one week away from a winter at Park City where I am sure to receive some sweet coon-eyes! Bring on the tan lines!!

Happiness is...
~ The start of the boarding season
~ New friends- Dallen and Josh
~ Grasshopper cookies mmmmmmm.....
~ Winding down the semester
~ Catching up with good friends! You rock Vanessa!
~ Getting ready to move :)

"In the depths of winter, I found within me an invincible summer."
~ Albert Camus

Kiss A Wookie

2008-11-17T17:08:00.003-07:00

There is no word good enough to describe what this guy has done!

First notice that it is all the same guy.
Then notice his shirts.

And most of all, listen to the lyrics.

If you don't know who John Williams is, basically he is the man who gave us all the best cinema theme songs..ever. Here's to you Sir. Williams! *Chink!*

Happiness is...
~ Star Wars A Capella
~ Funny clips that make your day
~ "That's What She Said" t-shirts

Why I've Decided I like Obama

2008-11-16T10:36:00.003-07:00

I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

My favorite part is when the cowboys all lock their windows.

brilliant.

To My California Friends and Family:

2008-11-03T08:41:00.004-07:00

I must implore you to take a firm stand for what is right tomorrow, Election Day. This message from Pres. Hinckley puts into simple, true terms for what is the correct decision for Proposition 8. If you still have any doubts about what is appropriate for marriage and the family, doubt no more-- the Prophet has already advised us as to what the Lord expects. Please read on: (emphasis added)

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that i

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

To my friends and family who belong to the Church, and even those who do not, this law that is on the ballot is not just about what the definition of marriage is- it is also about the definition of the family. Please, study out, read between the lines, understand that without this basic unit of the family (Husband, Wife, Children) society cannot function, and will ultimately fall. Stand for your family, and your children's future families.

And above all else, no matter what your beliefs are, stand for yourself and VOTE.

I love you all. Happy Election Day Eve.

Happiness is...
~ Understanding the truth through the Prophets
~ Sunday dinner with my family
~ "Expelled" by Ben Stein
~ Being with my friends, and getting closer to new ones

“Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote.”
~William Simon

Finished 1/7!

2008-10-14T17:32:00.003-06:00

Here it is... the first painting in the series of 7 paintings! Hopefully it will all fit together in the end, but it's been really fun :) I haven't decided what to call the series yet, but as soon as I figure it out myself, I'll post it.

Numero Uno:

Thanks for asking me to do these KT and Camel, you two are awesome :D

Happiness is...
~ Finishing a portion of the puzzle
~ Getting a big paper done fast
~ Having great friends that remind you how to have fun outside of homework
~ Good Twin news
~ Green sweaters

"And I'm dreaming of a place where I could see your face, and I think my brush would take me there. But only... if I were a painter."
~ Norah Jones

Adventures In Turning 21

2008-09-30T16:21:00.003-06:00

Another year, another birthday- Only this time it's a land mark! Tiff is finally 21! Upon pondering what this means for a small, redheaded, Mormon girl in Happy Valley I've come up with... well not a whole lot to tell you the truth. I'm not really drawn to the idea of drinking, I can't dance and therefore will not go clubbing, I don't have any money to gamble with, and I don't stay up late so I'll never make it to late-night restauranting. So what will I do with my age? Well let's take a look at what I have done so far:

1. Riding a horse bareback. I don't know if any of you out there have tried this, but I suggest you think of a better activity. I have never gotten so sore in such a short time before. Imagine this if you will: Me, perched on the rump of a horse, no saddle, just my legs loosely dangling on either side of the beast and my hands holding onto the belt-loops of Twin, who has the privilege of sitting in the saddle. As we trot around the hills, I squeeze onto the huge horse butt will all my strength to keep from flying off when it goes into a run up the hills. Not only is this a tiring adventure, but it is a hot, sweaty one- for the horse I mean. It's sweat and grime soak all the way through my jeans, leaving me wet, sticky, and smelling somewhat like decaying roadkill. Basically I'm sore to the point of not being able to sit down, or walk correctly- I'm a bit of a gimp. It retrospect, it was fun despite the pain, fear, heat, and smell. I call the saddle next time Twin.

2. Slept on a couch consecutively for 4 nights. Crashing on other people's couches is actually not that bad... until you wake up in the morning to find that every muscle in your body is sore from the odd dips and bumps in the cushions. You'd think that I would be used to that seeing as how I'm living in student housing where everything, particularly the furniture, is total crap. But clearly I've been spoiled because I was not used to sleeping on a surface that may resemble bed rock. On the up side, sleeping on a couch usually entails an adventure because you're not at home! And yes, I did have an adventure and I'm grateful for those who are willing to lend me their couches to crash on!

3. After chatting with several people about their experiences with skydiving, I've decided that if I am invited to do it, I will say YES.

4. I renewed my license. Now my ID is horizontal, signifying my rite of passage into legit adulthood. Who knows what kind of havoc I'll wreak with that puppy.

5. I've decided that I am going to stop being a chicken and ask Cute Ab. Psych. Guy out... within the semester sometime... Or maybe the Gods will smile upon me and he'll ask meout!*Heart Throb*

6. I am SO going to Keys on Main for a sweet jazz concert. And all of the other concerts I would have otherwise missed because I was underage. :D

See? There's alot to be had with the big two-one! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go write a paper for school... on my birthday :'(

Happiness is...
~ BIRTHDAYS!!
~ Getting older and younger at the same time
~ Making new friends: Kasey and Alstair.
~ Talking to Cute Ab. Psych. Guy
~ Hearing from all sorts of good friends throughout the day
~ Feeling cute
~ Made of Honor- Patrick Dempsy sweeps me off my feet

"It takes a long time to grow young."
~ Pablo Picasso

Everything a Weekend Should Be

2008-09-21T11:24:00.003-06:00

What can be better than good friends and good music? Nothing, that's what. Joshua James finally returned home to play at the Velour this weekend, something that I have been anticipating for far too long. His unique sound and story telling lyrics put me in the most fantastic place. My favorite part of the performance was the new rendition of "FM Radio" with "You Are My Sunshine", it was beautiful, haunting, powerful. This man holds a special piece of my heart I think.

Twin's birthday is today, and we celebrated yesterday with some "better-than-sex" cake, a fire, great friends, guitar sing-alongs, and fireside conversation. I think there is no better way to celebrate the end of another year than getting together with buddies and shooting the breeze- reminiscing, speculating, laughing, singing. I know that those times, times like last night, are what happiness is. Realizing that you are surrounded by people that care about you, want to be with you, and are as excited about life as you are.

On the note of Twin's birthday- she's 21! That means we've been friends for... 8 years? I can't believe how much time has passed, and so fast it's like a blur. Looking back, and realizing how much we've both changed, it's amazing to think that we've been bffs through thick and thin and everywhere else in-between. I am the luckiest lady alive to have a friend like her! Thanks Twin.

Happiness is...
~ Good friends
~ A warm fire on a cool night
~ Not being too shy to sing
~ Joshua James
~ RuRu
~ Art therapy :)
~ Twinner!
~ Making new friends: Nicole, Megan, Katie
~ Better-than-sex cake
~ Visiting Grandma Ruthie
~ Strawberry Cheesecake shakes

"Open your souls, open your minds- there's alot of wonderful people in the world outside."
~ Joshua James

Small Passion Implosion

2008-09-16T21:40:00.003-06:00

Sometimes other people's opinions spark something in me that can only be described as an implosion. It occurs when I believe someone's opinion is so insane, so misconstrued, so wrong that I cannot help but feel and intense array of passions about calling them out. There is a particular member of one of my classes that I feel like giving a verbal lashing to on a continual basis. Let's call him Dingleberry, because that is the first word I though of for him.

Now, Dingleberry is quite a character, and let's face it- there needs to be more individuals in this bubble of a valley. However, herein lies my problem with him: Asian dude, adopted by white parents. Grows up in CA (not the hood, just regular middle class) Massive Asian/Minority pride. Talks thug-life straight up. To me, that spells P-O-S-E-R. Here is what he interjects into our discussion on prejudice:

"Minorities cannot be prejudice. They just can't. They don't have the power."

My reaction, on the inside at least, was quite violent, as was the rest of the class. How sad is it that he had this misconception about the world around him? I could not keep it inside me too long- I spoke before I could really talk myself down:

"They don't have the power? They have all the power in the world! The moment you say that you, as a minority, do not have the power, you instantly rob yourself of just that! Do you not realize that that attitude is exactly what gives people with prejudice the feeling that they are right in what they are doing? You are giving up all of your power, all of the good that you can do, as somebody different, when you say that you do not have the power. It's too bad you are reinforcing the cognition of those prejudices."

Something to that effect. I was practically fuming. I don't think I've made a friend in that class, but no matter, I hope I got some point across. I find it so interesting, so infuriating, that some people live in the stereotypical prejudices and own those thoughts. They harbor those stereotypes, create unjustified prejudices themselves and revel in their fictional discrimination. I realize, of course, that there are some cases of true discrimination, but here where I live, there is so little of that, it is almost non-existent. For this kid to be so caught up in this idea that he is a minority, and thus is discriminated against no matter the circumstance and has no power to do otherwise is ludicrous.

Here is another thing- I don't want to offend anyone, or make them mad because I'm saying this and I'm not a minority, so how on earth can I say this and have any substance to my argument when I haven't been through it? Plain and simple truth: what I'm talking about is behavioral reinforcement, which is what Dingleberry is doing through proclaiming that minorities have no power over their plight of being the blunt of prejudice. For one thing, white people are not singular in dishing out the smack- all people: black, white, latino, jewish, asian, whatever have a history of some sort of discrimination against another human being. The only way people are ever going to see each other as equals is if they see themselves as people too. You see what I mean? If someone continues to carry around with them the idea that no matter what they do, who they are they will be discriminated against, then they will never overcome it. Respect has got to come from within FIRST.

Anyway, I'm done for tonight. If I continue I will start talking in circles. Tell me what you think, you few people that read my blog. I want to know your opinion too.

Happiness is...
~ Quick naps
~ Meunster cheese
~ Receiving a compliment
~ Getting a moment away from studying

"You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time."
~ Bob Marley

Calculus

2008-09-12T16:52:00.002-06:00

I have a skill that, up until today, I felt was about as useful as calculus. That skill is ASL, and today I finally, legitimately got to use it! I went to an "exclusive" institute lunch were we got to meet random people and the devotional speaker. I'm sitting there at the round table, hoping I can flag someone down to come sit by me cause I know I won't know anyone in there, and a guy comes and sits across from me. "Hi! What's your name?" I ask. Then he does something that makes me just about jump out of my skin with excitement. He SIGNS to me!

He was deaf! And I know sign language! That was the most interesting conversation I've had with someone in a long time. We talked about school and work and food and the devotional and I understood him, could sign back, and he understood me! I was so excited, and he was so nice and patient with me because I forgot a few signs. And what's more awesome is that he told me that I was a good signer! Weather he was sincere or not I don't care, it was flattering and made me feel great. Yes! I totally made a friend with a deaf dude. Can life get any better?

So now that I've used my ASL skills, and I really did feel like I would never use them, I can maybe give you math people some comfort in saying that maybe, just maybe, one day you can use your worthless skill of calculus someday too.

Happiness is...
~ Signing
~ Using a skill you thought useless
~ Getting to know new people
~ Signing up for an institute class
~ Maybe having someone excited to see me too :)

"Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, the emotions to affect other people."
~ Jim Rohn

Ahlalala Life Is Wonderful

2008-09-10T08:59:00.000-06:00

Last night my professor said something that I have decided to take to heart and make a part of my core beliefs. She said, "You can wake up every morning and say to yourself, 'Is it the best of times? Is it the worst of times?' It is entirely your choice." So this morning, the first thing I thought to myself was, "It is the best of times!" and I promptly put on "Life is Wonderful" by Jason Mraz.

Life is wonderful! I feel like I have the power, the control in my life to make things better. I love my job, school, my friends, my hobbies. I love planning for the future and living in the present. I love making new friends and getting closer to the ones I already have. I love my church, my Savior, my God. I love waking up feeling like a million bucks.

It's wonderful to find new things that you really enjoy. For instance: Last weekend I went on a trip to Seattle with a few low key, funny, completely awesome friends to watch the BYU vs UW game. I already know that I thoroughly enjoy going to sporting events and being a fan of a team, but it's become even better now that I've started to figure out the game. Baseball for instance- the night we arrived in Seattle we straightaway bought tickets for the Mariners v Yankees ballgame. Sitting next to my all-sports-buddy, I got really into the game, into the strategy, into the players because I actually knew what was going on! So the "new" part about this is knowing the game.

And besides the fact that the Mariners' game was fantastic, the Safeco Field and view from said field is beautiful. Perfectly groomed field, Seattle skyline in the background, harbor with all sorts of boats, and the constant sound of trains rattling by. And the rumors are true- the food really is better at a ball game.

You know what else is wonderful? Walking into the apartment and being greeted by the smell of freshly baked cookies.

Happiness is...
~ Going on a relaxing, fun vacation with good people
~ Getting the game
~ Being a fan
~ Visiting a new place- Seattle!
~ Loving every bit of school
~ Turtle cookies
~ Singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
~ Pink highlighters

"Everybody's going to love today; anyway you want to, anyway you've got to."
~ Mika

I Love The Mountains

2008-09-02T12:13:00.001-06:00

"I love the mountains, I love the deep blue skies..."

The last couple of days I've had the chance to get outside and appreciate living in one of the most beautiful places. Driving the Alpine Loop, walking through Cascade Springs, stopping to smell the flowers (or take pictures of them), and breathing in the cool, crisp, hey-it's-almost-fall air. I love the mountains! I quite literally have some indescribable connection to those towering rocky hills and their flora and fauna.

I also love it when my friends come with me to gawk at pretty things ->

Happiness is...
~ Getting out of the apt and into the mountains
~ Playing with old and new friends
~ The Wasatch mountain range
~ Pre-fall cool days
~ Jacket weather
~ Monkshood flowers (the purple on the looks like a wizard's hat)
~ Taking pictures with your pals

"Great things are done when mountains and [women] meet."
~ William Blake

Gladiator

2008-08-26T20:33:00.000-06:00

I now understand what a Gladiator must feel like, faced with his worst fear- death by a large animal, and what he feels after triumph. I understand why they are heroes, and why they scream alot. Here is why I am proud to call myself a Gladiator:

This morning as I was getting dressed in the bathroom, I happened to look over to the edge of the sink to see a HUGE, HAIRY, BROWN, CREEPY-CRAWLY SPIDER! Now, I'm not dressed enough to do do what every cell of my body was telling me to do (SCREEM! RUN! SAVE YOURSELF!) So I had to continue the dressing process, quickly, while keeping one eye on the grizzly bear and the other on my pant legs. Though, the moment I had my clothes on, I sprinted out the door, "YYAAEE!", only to find my apartment utterly deserted. This was both good and bad- good because I just screamed running out of the bathroom, and bad because now I have to tackle the thing myself. *Gulp*

I peep into the bathroom and spot the monster crawling across the wall, trying to hide under the mirror. "Oh no you don't! GAH!" Clearly I needed to act quickly, or I was going to have Aragog living in my bathroom permanently. There was no way I was going to let any of my epidermis get close to the thing, so I had to be inventive. Scanning the kitchen, I grabbed a water bottle and a clump of paper towels. Securing the paper towel to the end of the bottle, I entered the stadium, aka the bathroom, ready to face my death, my doom, my destruction. Spotting the enemy, and hoping he hadn't spotted me, I yell "GRREEAAAAAYYYYY!!!" and ram the bottle on the cretin like a javelin. Twisting and turning and hammering the other end of the bottle with my hairbrush like I might have been chopping down a tree, I vanquished my foe... and lived!

I triumphed! I screamed! I faced my worst fear- alone! Somebody should give me a sweet new Gladiator name, like "The Silencer" or "Mace" or "Sting" or "Crush", something hardcore and menacing like in American Gladiators. Seriously, my coolness just went up a couple notches.

Happiness is...
~ Killing the ginormous spider living in your bathroom
~ Real Simple magazine
~ Not spending as much as you thought you would on text books
~ Getting excited for the next semester!
~ Going to the gym, even though I was in a super lazy mood
~ Cleaning the kitchen after it's been totally disgusting

"I may be black and blue, but I'm and American Gladiator through and through!"
~ Power Ball of the 1989 American Gladiators

Jolly Good Blunder

2008-08-25T08:39:00.000-06:00

China did not disappoint when it came to putting on a spectacular man-powered closing ceremonies. Everything was in the same theme- circles, precision, unity, professional. You couldn't help but be dazzled and amazed by the pride and elegance of the performance. All was moving sweetly, smoothly... until the British show up. Leave it to the Brits to ruin something so good, so classy.

Now I didn't mind their little entrance so much, with the double decker bus and interpretive dancing, until from inside the bus sprouted the worst singer in all of Europe. Leona Lewis, London's pop princess, botched her world debut with a tuneless, screechy, flashy spectacle. To say the least, I was completely turned off by London's poor choice of talent; or lack thereof. When she was done barking, I stood up and clapped and cheered with great enthusiasm. Not because she did a stand up job, but because it was over, it was finally over. My ears could finally stop bleeding.

The real horror came when the Olympic flag was passed to the mayor of London- Boris Johnson. This man is the epitome of the slouchy, unprofessional, fa-kank-kank toothed British man. If I were a Londonite, I would be utterly ashamed and embarrassed that this man represented the place I lived. He walks up the red carpet all hunched over with his upper body leading and his feet dragging behind him with his dang suit coat hanging wide open for all to see his large, muffin top gut. He was so out of place there with the sharp Chinese men and ballroom gowned Chinese women that it was almost painful to watch. He gets to the end and stands next to the other two men (with their coats buttoned and their backs straight) and he proceeds to shove his hands inside his pockets. "What're you thinking you idiot??" shout my mom and I in unison. As he tries, emphasis on tries, to wave the flag, he has a pained I-have-zero-clue-what-I'm-doing look on his face. He waves it three times and quite literally shoves it away like it might have been searing his fingerprints off, and rams his fists back into his pockets, shuffling his feet. Good grief. The words to the British national anthem should be changed to "God save the Mayor". If a Chinese mayor, or whatever they have there, put on that kind of a show, he would have been stripped of his title, and probably his clothing, and left to fend for himself on the streets.

Now that the Olympics are over, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my nights. I'll have to think of some sort of new hobby, or get ready for school to start. *Bleh*

Happiness is...
~ Watching the USA Men's Volleyball kick Brazil's trash
~ Having someone else scratch my mass amount of mosquito bites
~ Original Scooby Doo cartoons
~ Eating Scooby Doo fruit snacks while watching the original Scooby Doo cartoon
~ Visiting friends at their new apt and watching tv on their 9" screen

"On thee our hopes we fix, God save us all."
~ God Save the Queen British National Anthem

MEIKO! and Jay Nash

2008-08-23T12:14:00.000-06:00

I have been looking forward to the Meiko concert for 3 months now, and I was not disappointed! She was fantastic. Meiko is a singer/songwriter from LA California and has totally captured my heart. She has such a smooth, airy voice. She is such a cute girl too. She has funny stories behind her songs, and as such the lyrics are great.

The highlight of Meiko's performance however was probably the girl in the back of the room that fainted, out cold, and knocked over a big metal stand full of papers. Besides the fact that it was totally sad, and the poor girl was so embarrassed, Meiko had no idea what to do. She kinda stood up there, looking a little nervous, and waited to see if the fainting girl was ok. Well she was, and hesitantly Meiko starts up the concert again with a sigh of "Aaawkwaard..." It was awesome.

This man, Mr. Jay Nash almost upstaged Ms. Meiko. He has an incredible bluesy, country voice. No twang, just smooth and so wonderful to listen to. He play on a beautiful guitar with a dove on it, and oh how he did play it! I'm pretty sure I started to fall in love with him from the moment he opened his mouth to sing... *Sigh*

I love Velour! Live, local music is the best past time. This place has brought me some of my best friends, and some of my very favorite musicians. LOVE IT.

Happiness is...
~ Meiko and Jay Nash
~ Being with good friends at Velour
~ Finding new artists (Jay)
~ Being done with moving- almost! lol
~ Beautiful summer nights

"And I'm all beef, but I have a heart, and it's splitting now that you've gone away. And I wish everything was kosher as me, but I'm not healthy for you anyway."
~ Meiko

Jack and Freedom

2008-08-20T17:23:00.000-06:00

On Monday, Cheer and I went to see Jack Johnson at the USANA. I can only hope do describe how amazing that concert was to me. Jack comes out to play just as dusk hits, the stage is warm with the pinks and golds of the setting sun. We're up on the lawn and everybody stands up to dance and sing with him. He is so great live! Better than the recording, I am happy to say. Jack hardly stops playing for the whole 2 hour concert, just one song right after the other. After the darkness sets in and the stars come out top play, so does the huge full moon. It was picture perfect- the moon, big and yellow, creeps up from behind the mountains, slow and clear. It matched the whole vibe of the concert, happy and relaxed. This was the type of night I had been waiting for for a long time. I was elated.

Through the whole concert, I had a thought on my mind. On the way to the concert, Cheer and I had a good conversation wherein he asked me what I meant by wanting to be free. I couldn't quite explain what it was that I meant, and I also wasn't entirely sure at the same time. So, while Jack played us songs of love and life, I thought about freedom.

What I mean when I say I want to be free is this: I want to be free to work towards my dreams, to make changes, to be happy. Freedom from negative emotions, manipulation, from being stuck in the same place in the same normal day to day motions. Basically I want to have independence, change, and challenges. Being able to grow and learn and to do something useful with myself. Not being bogged down by others or fear of the unknown. This is how I want freedom.

Hopefully that is a simple explanation to the thoughts I had. It's not complicated in words so much as action. It seems like there is always something getting in the way, but therein lies the challenge I suppose.

Thanks to Jack Johnson for soothing my soul.

Happiness is...
~ Jack Johnson
~ Spending time with old friends
~ Taking a small step toward change
~ A hard yoga workout- Thanks Matt!
~ A perfect night with perfect music

"Who's to say what's impossible? Well they forgot this world keeps spinning. And with each new day, I can feel a change in everything. And as the surface breaks, reflections fade; but in some ways, they remain the same. And as my mind begins to spread it's wings, there's no stopping curiosity."
~ Jack Johnson

Blasphemy

2008-08-13T19:32:00.000-06:00

I am about to commit treason against all woman-kind by doing this book review. Please do not hate me.

I just finished the new Stephanie Meyer sequel to Twilight called Breaking Dawn. If you don't already know what these books are about, then you are probably currently living in Sub-Saharan Africa, or maybe living a nomadic lifestyle with the yaks in Mongolia. But let me preface by saying that I did like the first one, and I liked the fight scenes in the other two books. But you see... I have a small (actually huge, but I want to downplay the seriousness of my feelings) problem with these books, and particularly Breaking Dawn.

*IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK AND PLAN TO, DO NOT CONTINUE. I WILL SPOIL THE ENDING*

Meyer decides to end her ever popular series with an interesting, though weak twist plot. Dear Edward and Bella finally tie the knot (it took 4 freaking books sheesh) and scamper off to have their all- too-perfect honeymoon. In the time they're there, Bella becomes prego with a little vampire monster that is killing her from the inside. Of course, as all of these books go, Bella goes through the 2 week pregnancy getting eaten alive while telling everyone to not worry about her while Edward beats himself up for letting her birth his spawn.

At this point, the narrator of the story becomes Jacob, the annoying, immature, irrational, and moody werewolf. These 200 pages took me nearly a week to get through they were so awful. Jacob hates Edward for getting his crush pregnant, but alas, cannot leave Bella because he feels he must protect her from the rest of the werewolves that want to kill her and her baby googly-moogly. The entire time Jacob is mad because Bella's dying to have her baby (pun intended). The way Meyer makes his thoughts and actions so childish makes the reader like him less and less, even though he's kind of supposed to be a hero of the story.

Long, seemingly unending story short, Bella has mutant baby, becomes a vampire, and the only real desire she has is to have constant love...sessions... with her hubby. *Gag* This is the point that the book becomes unbearable. I realize that Meyer wanted to portray how much love and devotion Bella has for Edward and her baby, Renesmee, but frankly she does a super crappy job about it. All of her characters are far too shallow. Bella likes Edward because he smells good, is super hot, and apparently isn't so bad in bed. Edward likes Bella because she... smells good. I can't think of any other reason to like her because I find her to be consistently infuriating. Bella likes her baby because it has alot of charisma; but really she'd rather just hang out with Edward, if you catch my drift.

So at the end of the book, Meyer builds up the tension for an amazing vampire battle. "Finally! Some real reason for reading this damned book!" says I. But guess what? Because this stupid book is far beyond any fairy tale as far as happy endings go, there is no battle, no revenge, nothing satisfying whatsoever. It all ends diplomatically. What kinda horse pucky is that?? And what's worse it that everyone lives happily ever after. Humph. I don't want a happily ever after for these characters because they are all far too ridiculous to even have existed. There is no depth to any part of this story, no underlying message, no character changes, no resolution, just happily ever afters. Stupid.

And what is worse, because I feel that this book is a waste of a forrest to print, Meyer is coming out with two more books: "The Twilight Saga: The Official Guide" for one. "You may think you already know everything there is to know about the unforgettable world Meyer created... but..." There is NOTHING else to know about these stupid books. What is there to need a guide for? Understanding the non-complexities of the characters? How to find your perfect mate solely by smell? How to write a book that means absolutely nothing and has zero point? How to read about perfection and then close the book and realize that will never, ever come true in your life ever?

Seriously.

And the other book is the re-written form of the first book but in Edward's perspective. Lord knows I'll probably read it.

Help me.

Happiness is...
~ Finishing the worst book ever written
~ Getting all dressed up for a party
~ Chatting with friends
~ Being social
~ Virgin cocktail drinks
~ Black and White dresses

"I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words."
~ Bella Swan (Breaking Dawn)

One World, One Dream

2008-08-10T11:06:00.001-06:00

The Olympic torch has been alight since 1928. The same flame, the same Olympic spirit. I love the Olympics, it inspires in me some sort of pride in humankind. It's incredible that for two weeks every two years the world can come together and put aside their conflicts to compete and promote peace. I love the symbols of the Olympics that are used every time to represent peace: the dove, the Olympic flag, the emblem that each host creates, the medals, the torch, the "slogan" I guess you would call it, and even the mascots. I want to believe that those who created each of these symbols all have the same goal in mind: to show the world that their country wants peace, wants to be hospitable, wants to leave a mark in the minds of all people that there is hope for a better tomorrow. In my mind, that is what the Olympics is all about. And even if that's not true for everyone, I don't care because I like the idea that the world contains more dreamers like me than people who want to destroy those dreams. That's why I particularly like the theme for Beijing, "One World, One Dream."

Hey and did you know that the mascots (Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying, and Nini) put together say, "Beijing huan ying ni" which means "Welcome to Beijing"? So great! And they're cute.

I love the Olympics. :D

Happiness is...
~ Color Me Mine
~ Twin time
~ Watching the Olympics (I loved the opening ceremonies, it was the best I've ever seen! and I love women's volleyball- I wish I were them!)
~ Getting through the worst part of "Breaking Dawn"

"The important thing in the Olympic games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering, but fighting well."
~Pierre de Coubertin (French educator responsible for the revival of the games in 1894)

Superpower

2008-08-06T22:29:00.000-06:00

I'm not quite sure, but I think I've found my superpower. I mean, other than the fact that I can fly and roundhouse kick better than Chuck Norris like Kim Possible. I'm pretty sure that there is nothing that can truly gross me out. Take today for example: I had a patient come in with dry socket. If you don't know what that is, lemme 'splain.

(Tiff puts on her nerd glasses that magnify her eyes to the size of small suns)

Ahem. Dry socket, or alveolar osteitis, is the inflammation of the jawbone following an extraction of a tooth. It occurs when the blood clot that formed in said extraction site is disrupted, leaving the site open like a great big soon-to-be-festering wound.

(Removal of glasses, revealing Tiff's eyes to be of normal size)

Back to our story: Patient comes in with dry socket. We set her back after getting her numb and take a look-see. It's awesome. There is a small flap of gums halfway covering the socket and there is stuff packed in there! We pull out what seems to be a huge popcorn kernel and something unidentifiable-brown and sticky looking. Underneath is her jawbone, totally exposed. "Sweet!" I say. We then proceed to pack a large piece of what looks like slimy sea-weed under that flap, and it seriously smells like poo. What is in the smelly seaweed? No idea. That's one of those dental secrets I'm not in on. But let the imagination take over on that one.

Now the disturbing part of this scene is not the dry socket, nor the mini Jabba The Hut we put in her mouth, but the fact that I thought it was totallywicked! I wish that more people would come in with dry sockets so we could do that all over again! Thinking this over, I'm a little freaked out at myself. Gross things aren't supposed to be cool. But it was.I feel unstoppable! No one could get me to get grossed out, and that is my superpower: to be able to stomach anything. Excellent.

Happiness is...
~ Discovering that you're invincible
~ Being ready for a final
~ Recommending the best movie ever
~ Being excited for Fall Semester

"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
~ Homer Simpson

Surveying

2008-08-05T22:57:00.000-06:00

I am such an introvert. I was reminded of that harsh reality today as I went knocking on doors to ask people to take a survey I typed up for my Sociology class. It's not like I'm awkward, I think, or that I'm afraid of people being mean to me, I just hate intruding on people's space. And when I am bugging them to take my stupid survey, I feel as though I'm doing just that. The door scene kinda goes like this:
*Knock knock knock*
The door opens hesitantly.

"Hey!" I say, enthusiastically, "Would you mind if I had a minute of your time?"

"Uhm, well I guess so..." says the poor unsuspecting victim.

"Great! I am doing a survey for my soc. class. Here, pick a color!" I'm trying to stay happy, even though my insides want to be on my outsides from talking with a stranger.

I hold out a small selection of brightly colored Crayola markers. I'm partial to the florescent plum colored one.

"Ok. Mmhmm. Haha..." This is the usual reaction to my survey, because really, it is kindof a funny one.

And while they take my stupid survey I try to fill in the could-be-awkward silence with sarcasm about my survey. Luckily these visits literally last for 2 minutes or less.

Then I say thanks and trot off to the next door, but gut wrenching. Ugh. I can't describe how awkward I feel on the inside. Good thing I'm a good actress. Or maybe I'm not.

Thank goodness that yoga was tonight, I needed a way to calm down my freaked out introverted brain. Does anyone know how to fix this? I mean, I love meeting new people and talking with them, but I can't just start doing yoga every time I get nervous, that would be a little weird. Mental image this:

"Hey my name is Tiff! I'm from Utard and I like to longboard and poke fun. What's your name?"

"Nice to meet you Tiff! My name is-"

"Can you hold that thought? I'm getting a little anxious..." I take a step back and do five or six sun salutations and finish with child's pose. All in my new friend's living room.

"Ok. Much better. I think I can focus now. Please, continue."

See? Now that is just ridiculous. Maybe I should take up caffeine and be so hopped up and hyper that my shyness will be long forgotten. And then I'll crash, and be too tired to care. Seems like a feasible plan.

On the flip side, all the people I surveyed today were super nice, and really, if I had to, I think I could do it again. Possibly even on a day without my yoga class.

Happiness is...
~ Getting most of my homework done
~ "Primrose" Crayola marker
~ Meeting new nice people
~ A new yoga instructor

"USA Today came out with a new survey- apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
~David Letterman

Kindred Spirit

2008-08-04T22:10:00.000-06:00

Blog stalking is fun. Especially when it leads you to other people you can stalk. I just got finished reading this girl's blog (the one that the title link leads to) and it was probably the most enjoyable way to spend my night. She is a true kindred spirit of mine, with her love of Rock Band and speed Scrabble, redheads and awkward conversations, and getting the courage to try on skinny jeans. She's my Anne of Green Gables.

And she has the new iPhone. That makes her twice as cool in my book- especially with all the iPhone cozies she's made for it. Brilliance.

Speaking of blog stalking, all of you must read this post by Rahrie's sister-in-law. I died!

Enjoi!

Happiness is...
~ Reading a hilarious blog, or two
~ Black/White girl 'Rythmatic (examples): I heart Jess :D
(Skiing): black girl + 2 poles (spikes)/ no insurance = accidental death
(Cricket): white girl(2x4)/(ball)(striped socks)= black eye
~ Colors. Yes, the band, Colors.

"Are you stalking me? Because that would be super."
~ Ryan Reynolds

The Virtues of Killing Monsters

2008-07-30T20:19:00.000-06:00

This one is for my Mother.

In anticipation for the announcement of the release of the new Diablo III, I've had the extreme itch to play the last one (Diablo II, which was far to awesome for mortal words) and to get others to learn of the virtues of killing monsters. Starting, naturally, with my Mom. My dear mom, for some odd reason, does not believe me when I say that playing Diablo can relieve stress and strengthen your character. I am going to prove that I am correct in proclaiming both, using legit virtues. Be prepared to be convinced!

Virtue 1: Peace (Freedom from mental agitation) Diablo is kind of like yoga, in that you can focus all of your thoughts on one point, the computer screen in this case, and invite your cares and worries to leave through the back door. Hence gaining peace of mind... and spirit really because we all know that our spirits love video games.

V2: Spontaneity (Not planned) You never know when your going to have the need to defeat a few foes. This urge teaches one to be spontaneous. We do not schedule Diablo into our lives, Diablo simply calls.

V3: Bravery (A quality of the spirit that enables one to face danger, without showing fear) It can be really scary walking through those abandoned villages and the depths of Hell searching out the infamous Diablo. However, as you fight evil cretins, learn sweet spells, and get cooler armor, you get braver and braver. Nothing will frighten you!

V4: Determination (A firmness in purpose) Bravery brings us into determination: We will stop at nothing to clear the area! All woodland demons must be vanquished! Never forget your goals: Kill monsters, collect their gold, buy hardcore armor, and... kill monsters!

V5: Curiosity (A desire to know things) Like what the heck that new item is! Hurry! Go to the nearest village and buy a scroll of identify! Sheesh, whatya waiting for?

V6: Devotion (Enthusiastic zeal) To killing monsters!

V7: Humility (Lack of arrogance) Face it, Diablo is going to kick your little buttox. More than once.

V8: Acceptance (Considering circumstances, especially those that cannot be changed, as satisfactory) Ok, so it took you nearly 365 hours to beat the game, but it's ok! You can beat your time with a new character! All is not lost. And above all other things, it's ok that you love this game with all your heart.

See? Real life lessons, pretend alternate-reality self quelling bogeymen. What you take away from this game is simply inexpungeable. And this is why all people should play- it's good for the soul like brussel sprouts and gushers are for the body.

Play Mom. Play.

Happiness is...
~ Being a nerd at heart
~ Kids that cooperate in the dentist chair
~ Having a busy day, but staying on top of your work
~ Listening to the blues

"Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock and roll."
~Shigeru Miyamoto

Old Me, New Way

2008-07-29T23:24:00.000-06:00

Anyone that has known me through the years knows how I deal with going through the next phase of my life: I cut my hair. I have gone from doing bangs (in every way imaginable), to chopping off 11 inches. But to tell you the truth, I don't want to cut my hair this time. I go through phases quickly enough that my hairs never really get to grow back to being long. So, I've decided that I'm going to cut my red tresses a break...so to speak. Instead, I'm going to welcome the next, revised me by adding some flair into my wardrobe. Please understand that this is no small task. I have a fettish with t-shirts, and this will clearly put a stumbling block in my road. But, be proud of me! I went shopping today and did not buy one t-shirt! I did buy 3 button-down shirts, an eyelet cami, a sweater vesty thing, one of those dresses that you wear with jeans. I'm kindof excited for myself, fashion is one of those girly areas of my psyche that I haven't dappled into. Does anyone know of a good fashion consultant that will help me out? I'm not sure if I can take this on myself, especially since I have zero idea what I'm doing.

Maybe I'll take this dive into my own girliness to the next level and wear make-up... well maybe not. I'd end up looking like a clown, or the Joker, or something that crawled out of an 80's dance party. One step at a time T, baby steps.

Happiness is...
~ Getting the courage to try something new
~ An incredible yoga workout
~ Jessie Baylin
~ The Happy Sumo (the panda roll was delectable)
~ Finding a good record and Greywhale (rarely happens)
~ Hanging with my Mommy and Daddy

"Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are."
~ Quentin Crisp

Lyricism

2008-07-27T23:48:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have one of those days where every song you listen to has some sort of connection to your life at that moment? Today was particularly interesting in this way. My roomie, RahRah, and I were chilling, shooting the breeze while listening to a few new records and I kept on being distracted that the songs were describing my feelings/actions/thoughts. John Mayer's "Continuum" album was particularly on the spot.

This got me to thinking. Isn't it funny that sometimes song lyrics can describe your feelings or thoughts better than what you can conjure up yourself? Sometimes it can be a little frustrating, at least for me, to know that someone out there is writing a song about your situation and can say it better than you can. Maybe this is why we dedicate songs to each other, because quite frankly, sometimes we can't say it ourselves. Be it because we think we're funny, a hopeless romantic, or just plain too chicken to confront someone with our feelings- lyrics seem to say it all for us.

Lyrics are why music is so personal for me (as is the reason for anyone else I suppose). If I think about it for a moment, I'm pretty sure that the words that inspire me come from songs. It's the way I connect with the world, it's the way I deal with any emotions. In fact, my mottos in life are from songs:

"One love, one heart, let's get together and feel alright" (No, I'm not talking about the weed, just positive vibrations)
~Bob Marley "One Love"

"Everybody knows that the sweetest thing that you'll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl." (I'm striving to be just that!)
~Martina McBride "Happy Girl"

"Stand tall, it gets a little better. I see the wall that we can break down together. Stand strong, it gets a little better now." (Never give up, just work through hard times while standing tall.)
~The Dirty Heads "Stand Tall"

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there." (I'm ready for the next day, the next happy moment, the next trial, the next surprise.)
~Incubus "Drive"

Songs that define my attitude towards life are many, and it seems that everyday I find a new artist that reminds me how much I love life. I'm glad that there are musicians out there that write lyrics that I can relate to, because that means that there are thousands of other people out there just like me- and sometimes, that can be a comforting thought.

Happiness is...
~ Rainy days
~ 70's rock
~ Having a song speak for you
~ Basketball shorts
~ Cracked pepper and sea salt chips

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent."
~Victor Hugo

Teasing My Sister

2008-07-23T20:16:00.000-06:00

It's hard being a dental assistant in training. Especially when you're fifteen and have raging hormones. Not only do you have to get used to being inside people's mouths all day, resist the urge to either spew or faint when you see blood, and learn how to be professional instead of a nervous teenager, but you have to deal with the fact that you will encounter cute boys. Lots of cute boys. I speak here for my darling sister, who is my assistant-in-training. She had to come to terms with a terrible truth (with a little help from me *evil grin*). The truth is that you will never, ever have any chance with getting a guy via the dentist office. Let's face it, no one wants to be friends with someone (let alone date them) that has been more intimate with their mouth than any other person in their life could possibly be, or even want to be. There's an unfortunate wall built, the I-brush-your-teeth wall, that will forever stand between you and that uuber hottie sitting in the dentist chair.

Because I love to jest, I told my sis to hit him (him meaning a particular cute boy) up on facebook. There are so many things you could say to spark up friendly conversation with him. Such as: "Hey, I'm not sure if you remember me, but I brushed all of the orange stuff off your teeth the other day," or "I just though you'd like to know that you have such nice saliva," or my favorite if you want to get a little saucy, "Maybe we could play dentist together a little later..." The possibilities are simply endless! I got the satisfactory responses from her ranging from severe blushing to lots of girly, "Shut up!!"'s. Teasing is worth every bit of the reactions.

But be of good cheer dear sister, lucky for you we cannot possibly have all of the cute boys as patients, so there may be some left that you needn't buffer away gunk from their pearly whites. Though to make things interesting, I'm challenging you to prove me wrong and score a date with one after you've sufficiently splattered them with prophy paste. Good luck!

Happiness is...
~ Teasing my sister
~ Making new friends
~ The Dark Knight!
~ Stephen E. Robinson (look his book up!)
~ Being almost recovered from 2nd degree burns
~ Cinnamon Toast Crunch

"Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life."
~Charles M. Shultz

In a Hurry

2008-07-20T10:02:00.000-06:00

Shopping for vinyl records, I have discovered, is something that is relaxing for me. It has the same effect as a cup of mint tea. My girls and I went up to Salt Lake to do just that, and though there was little success in finding too many that we wanted to purchase, it was still uuber stress relieving. I bought a BB King album because I've been on a blues kick recently, and I also got a couple new artists: Bon Iver and Feist. I love records; it's the only real way to enjoy music. They just kick mp3s pants.

On the way home from SLC, my one of my ladies was being super impatient with the flow of traffic, and because I am one to feed off of the energy of others, I started to get that way too. And this got me to thinking...

*Warning! Abstract thinking ahead!*

The attitude of the World as I know it can be described in one word: Impatience. Everyone is in a hurry. The need for things to happen here, right now has eeked into every aspect of life. No matter how fast the flow of traffic is, it's not fast enough. If you have to wait for 20 minutes to be sat down at a restaurant it's too long. If it takes your internet 2 minutes to download a youtube clip, it's not even worth it to try because it's just too slow. And these are just the smallest things.

Why is everyone in such a big hurry? What exactly is going to happen in the next available moment that is so important that you have to get worked up about something not going fast enough for you? Why do people say, "Man, I just wish today was finished." Doesn't that just mean you're going to get up the next day and do it all over again?

Then this thought took me to thinking about the "American Dream". The original attitude toward the AD was just to get to America and be able to live in a place where you could practice whatever religion you wanted and make a comfortable living for your family. Then it progressed into making a decent amount of money being involved in a big business (1920's ish), like the "Great Gatsby". Then the AD was to rise above ethnic discrimination and have an equal chance of climbing up the ladder as anyone else (1960's). But as we move into our post-modernization era, the AD seems to no longer have a goal, or be reachable. The current AD is success in every aspect of the word: money, prestige, power, security. But no matter how much success you achieve, there can always me more. It seems no one is satisfied with where they are and what they have. America today tells us through TV, movies, magazines, the newspaper, every kind of consumable media that what we have just isn't good enough. We're being conditioned to need more- be it the new and upcoming iPod, what kind of makeup you're using, organic foods over regular produce, the next huge over-the-top SUV, or even which places are the best to live in. Not only is America telling you that you need this stuff (which you don't) but that you need it NOW. Call now and we'll send you more of this worthless crap for free! Don't wait, call NOW! We'll help you finance your car/house, but you have to do it before it's too late! Don't waste another second! See? We're being taught to be in a hurry, to never waste valuable nanoseconds.

And these thoughts made me think about me. Where do I fit in all of this? I admit that I am guilty of having the Rush Bug. I sometimes feel like things aren't up to the speed that I want them- such as driving (what's the rush? I'll get there, the 2 minutes difference if I were going 5 miles over the speed limit doesn't actually make any difference at all in my day.) Or cooking (why am I all wound up about the 20 minutes it'll take me to cook something healthy?) Even going to the gym *GASP!* (what on earth do I have going on that I can't take an hour out of my day to do something good for me, that I like no less!) Or getting through a semester (This is the best time of my life- I love my classes and I love learning new things, why would I want to speed through it? The need to get done with school just makes me more stressed out.) So clearly I need an attitude adjustment. I am officially deciding to be a social deviant and take my time. I am going to enjoy life. I am going to love, and be grateful for, the things I have in my life currently. I am going to live for the moment, and not the next moment. I am going to do things that take time, because I have it! Yes! I can already feel the freedom of life in the slow lane heading my way.

*End Abstract Thinking Zone*

Happiness is...
~ Record shopping
~ Random, abstract thoughts
~ Chatting with Mom
~ The Bombay House Indian cuisine
~ Playing board games
~ Taking my time

"We may lose, and we may win; though we will never be here again. So open up, I'm climbin in, So take it easy."
~ The Eagles

Acupuncture

2008-07-18T23:37:00.000-06:00

This morning I went with a friend to watch her get acupuncture. Seriously the craziest thing I've witnessed in a long time. The office was super nice, decked out in Asian themed knick-knacks and do-dads, with a hippie receptionist and music that'll put you to sleep within seconds. So the aura of the place seemed pretty legit- totally acceptable. The doctor comes in the room we're waiting in and I can't help but think of Dr. Nick from "The Simpsons"... mostly because he looked exactly like him! After that I was partial to not take him too seriously.

So Dr. Nick picks up my friend's wrist and holds it for a sec, periodically making notes and circling different body parts on the drawing of the human body in his chart. "And how have you been feeling?" he says

"I've been doing better I think, though sometimes it's hard to tell," reports my friend.

"Mmmhmm. Ok and is there anything that is bothering you in particular?"

"Well sometimes when I squat my knees hurt."

"And do you squat often?"

(This is the part where basically I decide that this is just a bunch of hullabaloo. Is this conversation really taking place? Is she really paying for this? It's far too hard to stifle a snicker in this quite room...)

Dr. Nick then proceeds to stick long needles in various parts of her body while instructing her to relax. This makes me a little uncomfortable, so I start striking conversation with the guy... Anything to take my mind off of the fact that he's playing with my friend's nerve bundles, making her twitch, and telling her that these teeny acicula are going to solve her squatting problem. He finishes poking around, leaving quite a few needles in her body, making her look like a huge pin cushion, and nods to me.
"Now you two just relax. I'll be right back." he says and he exits wistfully.

The door closes.

"So is this the part where you imagine yourself on a beach... not getting a sunburn?" I smirk.

"Shut up Twin."

I give up trying to talk, she needs her meditation time. I smile to myself because I think I'm funny. The soothing music fills in the silence and I fall into a kind of stupor, like I've fallen asleep but my eyes are still open.

"And how are you feeling now?" Dr. Nick says. (Wait... when did you get in here?!)

I jump out of my daze.

"Tired... and thirsty." She says.

"Mmhmm. I'm going to smooth some of your muscles, then you'll be all finished. I want you to do some good stretches this next week, try some yoga."

Ok, maybe I like this guy after all. All you have to do to get me to like you is mention yoga.

"And I'm going to put some beads in your ear to help your sugar cravings."

He tapes some silver balls the size of a grain of sand on the inside of her ear and bids us good day.

On the way back home she seems a little more relaxed than usual, though I do too. I'm pretty certain it's from the music.

"Want to get a box of Krispy Kreams?" She says to me with wide eyes.

Ah, alternative medicine. What would we do without you?

Happiness is...
~ Not getting acupuncture
~ Jamming
~ Afternoon naps
~ Talking to old ladies in line at Jason's Deli

"Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night- be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniels."
~Frank Sinatra

Summer Redolence

2008-07-17T22:59:00.000-06:00

There are many wonderful things about summer. There's the early mornings and late nights, the freedom from homework (well usually, but I'm taking summer classes of course), the star filled sky, and the laziness of a warm afternoon. But the thing I think I like most about summer is the scents. But I would call it redolence, because not only does summer exude pleasant fragrances, but the smells come with a flood of memories.

I went longboarding tonight to relieve some stresses and was welcomed by the canyon air filled with anamnesis. I wish I could recall memories like these all the time, but my mind likes to work like a lock and key- I have to happen to come across the right key, or smell in this case, to open up a recollection of all the wonderful events in my life. Here's some from tonight's escapade in the canyon:

First, upon walking to the path, I smelled bbq. Now, this is a normal summer smell, which I am so grateful for because I have had so many good memories around a grill. Like being in California with my family last fall for my cousin's baptism. My uncles critique the meats like fine wine tasters, and we all sit together and share stories and laugh till everyone has to head home. Or when my parent's neighborhood gets together to grill together and catch up on each others lives- which usually includes getting to see one of my good old friends, Ren. Or getting together with my dad's sister and her family, listening to my cousins and uncle rattle off the most hilarious things I've ever heard. None of these things get old.

While cruising almost silently through the trees, the scent of pine was super strong tonight. It made me think of, wow, so many things: The Heaton Ranch in S. Utah that Twin and I go to every year, Zion's Nat'l Park and getting to the peak of Angel's Landing, the condo in St. George and making chicken and pasta for McClintock, Thayne's chair lift in Park City, making peppermint brownies at Twin's house, walking to Stewart Falls, lying on the grass in Bridal Veil Park, and the drive in movie theater in Cape Cod.

There was a short section on the trail right before Timp Park that smelled like sweet corn. Random. But it made me think of graduating from high school, dinner group with my best friends of last summer, and the blues festival in Salt Lake.

Then the rest of the ride the air just smelled... sweet. Like bumbleberry pie, or fresh picked cotton, like rosewood incense or tumble dried laundry. It reminded me of the talking wall in Cheer's back yard, and Joshua James. I thought of the time I went digging with a friend in high school all the way past the G in PG and being able to see all of the lights from Salem to Lehi. Or sleeping under the stars in Lake Powell, playing the guitar and singing outloud.

I love nostalgia. I love remembering that there have been good times and that there will be more, lots more. I love longboarding and letting my feet feel their way through the world without having to move; just letting space flicker by with the low hum of the breeze behind you.

Happiness is...
~ Cruising the canyon
~ Summer redolence
~ Running into friends you miss so much
~ Remembering the past
~ Learning how to play a new instrument: Bass
~ Playing the guitar so long it makes your fingers hurt
~ Singing

"The summer night is like a perfection of thought."
~Wallace Stevens

Bella

2008-07-16T23:27:00.000-06:00

Let's just say the last little while hasn't been too awesome. Let's also say that I need to get a grip on myself and be happy; if not for any other reason than finding joy in the continuum of monotonously same days to come.

Wait. A better attitude. I usually have one of those some where...

Ah ha! Alright. This time is just another reminder of the fact that change still needs to happen, change for the good. It's time to figure out who I am, what I'm about, what I care about, and what I'm going to do with myself. What better adventure than searching the depth of one's own soul?

I think it's interesting that something that never fails to lift me up in a down time is music. Between lyrics that can take the blues away and cool blues rhythms, music gives the world a bit more color. Today I particularly love the Beautiful Girls ("Morning Sun") and Joseph Arthur ("In the Sun"), and Gavin DeGraw as a whole. There's something about the escape, or the way you can really throw yourself into playing music too that makes it so wonderful. Sitting on the floor, playing my G-tar Bella, and having the time whisk by on the soul train is the ultimate in healing- I think it even helps the sun burns.

Happiness is...
~ My old guitar and a brand new set of strings
~ Playing that old guitar
~ Chamomile Tea
~ Having time to reflect
~ Knowing how to change
~ Music, Music, Music

"You're never gonna stop letting people down unless you change"
~Waking Ashland

Seriously, So Done.

2008-07-11T09:30:00.000-06:00

Over the 4th of July weekend, I did a very ridiculous thing. I went to the beach... without much sunscreen for 5 long hours. Now, if you didn't know this, or if it escaped your memory I am a very redheaded person. That said, I'm sure you can imagine what my skin looked like after getting out of the sun that day. Some words that might come to mind are radiating, florescent, iridescent, scarlet, magenta, ouch. Which, if you did think of any of those, you are wholly correct.

But no worries, recovery is coming along, though far too slowly. Luckily, my mobility is certainly better than it was a week ago, and I was even able to shave my poor purple legs last night. However, along with the whole recovering-from-sunburn process comes the peeling. Oh the peeling. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the tender skin underneath! I can handle the itch, even the fact that shedding my skin off like a snake is gross, but it's like getting a new burn all over again!

But I must look at the bright side! At least I'm not peeling like my poor boyfriend. His peeling consists of many skin layers, blisters, and still the ouchie new skins underneath. He also has to wear a shirt over the top of his exuviating epidermis (I am a girl and as such can wear little clothing and get away with it) making his a entirely new itching, uncomfortable experience.

But seriously, I am so done with being burned. I'm ready to be able to walk around like a regular human being, get in and out of the car without having to brace myself for the worst, be able to put on clothes that touch my back and shoulders, and be able to play for heavens sake! I don't want to watch any more movies! I want to longboard, and go to the gym, and run in a park!

*sniff*

Happiness is...
~ Going on road trips with awesome friends
~ Watching fireworks from the beach with your beau
~ Getting to take a warm shower instead of a cold one
~ Serenity
~ Watermelon (which I'm eating while writing this)
~ Getting to sleep on your side again! (the burn is beginning to heal!)
~ Getting excited about shaving (who does that?)

"Grilling is like sunbathing. Everyone knows its bad for you, but no one ever stops doing it."
~Laurie Colwin

Mending Bridges

2008-07-01T09:22:00.000-06:00

Lately my Happyness Compass has been a bit out of whack. Upon pondering the few reasons why this might be, I came to the conclusion that one big one happened to be the fact that I had singed a bridge with a friend I consider to be a necessity to have in my life. The best thing about this situation (because there is always a positive side) is that the ball was in my court. I had every bit of control in mending this bridge, of course assuming he would also be the bigger man and accept my apology. But, the funny thing is, I didn't even have to wonder if he would be my friend again, because that is just the type of person he is- the good friend kind. I don't think he know this, but getting to talk to him again lifted a large load off of my stress cart.

Thanks man, you seriously rock- like Warren Haynes.

Happiness is...
~ Mending a bridge
~ Writing down thoughts
~ Longboarding
~ Reading on a blanket in the park
~ Almond Joys for breakfast

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
~John Lennon

Marley

2008-04-21T23:36:00.000-06:00

Big news Breakfast at Tiffani's fans- Tiff finally bought a new car! She's a beautiful Kia Optima with air conditioning and not leather seats. Who could really ask for more? I have to say that this vehicle did not come without a price, so to speak, I feel, in a way, that I had to learn a thing or two before earning her. This is one of those "surprises" aforementioned.

Bob Marley said, "You ain't gonna miss your water till your well runs dry." I didn't realize how much I depended on my mode of transportation for, well, everything. Laundry, food, friends, work, school, stress relief, gym, comfort, independence. I will never take for granted the things that I have ever again.

The amazing Mr. Bob Marley said, "In this bright future, you can't forget your past." Ok, my past consists of many ups and downs, goods and bads, excitements and let downs (just like everybody else!) but I can't just forget about the experience! For example: My future now consists of a goal to get my graduate degree, but I didn't always think that way. I knew that I could, quite literally, do anything. That's a broad capacity to do good, and to do nothing at all. Going through all of the emotions, the research, the mistakes, and the "ah-ha" moments to get to the right idea about education is fortunately in my past. But it's amazing to me to recall all of those experiences, like the esthetician schools and solely working, and realize that my future is bright! More recently, with the death of "Big B", I came to realize that my future is bright in another way- I have the best friends in the world, and they are for keeps. Now that I have my independence back, I have promised myself that I would never forget the help that my friends and family gave to me to get through one of the hardest moments. My future is bright because I know I have people I can depend on.

Mr. Marley also said, "Life is one big road with lots of signs..." Maybe I understand some of those signs better now-a-days.

Yield: Sometimes pausing, but not stopping completely, is enough to get a good glimpse of what is going on around me. A pause is all it takes to realize when a friend is in need or to realize when I, myself, am in need. I think that may be the correct way to go about recognizing what I should be doing, and at the right time.

Stop: Stop worrying. Stop getting upset. Stop complaining. Stop being selfish. Stop pushing people away. Stop being indecisive. Stop letting people walk all over me. Stop at nothing to find happiness.

Reduced Speed Ahead: I am still in the process of accepting this one. For some reason, I just want to rush through everything. I want to rush through semesters, work days, days leading up to an event. I am missing out on something everyday by occupying my thoughts purely on the next big thing that needs to be accomplished. Sometimes I look back on a day and realize that I passed up a chance to uplift someone, or make a new friend, or simply on enjoying the sun rise and fall behind the mountains. I need to find a cruise control on myself, keep it steady, don't take any day of life for granted.

Road Work Ahead: Sheesh. I feel like I'm in a constant phase of changing. I realize that's a part of becoming me. Bob says, "You have to be someone. Open your eyes, look within, are you satisfied with the life you are livin?" There are days I say, "I love me!" and there are days when I say, "You gotta change hun." I am in the making, I should be excited about this! I guess I just have to trust that the end result is worth all the waiting, rebuilding, rerouting, and perfecting.

One last Bob Marley quote: "Just can't live that negative way, make way for the positive day!" So starting afresh with my Kia, Marley, I will live for the positive day, which I hope will be everyday! What time is better than now to make a difference to someone, somewhere? None. Wish us a safe journey!

Happiness is...
~ Kia "Marley" Optima
~ Listening to old records
~ Watching the Jazz win
~ Bob Marley
~ Mint Tea
~ A hope for a better tomorrow

"Don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!"
~ Bob Marley

Plan to be Surprised

2008-03-27T23:18:00.000-06:00

Just as a preface, I'm writing" in response to a blog a friend of mine wrote.
There- I said it. I'm not original. *sigh*

We watched "Dan in real life" tonight, and I really do think it's a great film. Not because it has an incredible script (though witty and fun), and not because it's interpretive and foreign, but because it shows what real life is all about. And I'm not talking about the love story.

Every time I watch this movie, it reminds me so much of my family. Whenever my Mom's family gets together, we do fun, silly things just like in the movie. Everybody wants to be involved in each others lives and share stories and relate opinions and care for each other. Thats what family is all about. Sometimes, particularly lately I think, I have forgotten that whole concept. Family is all about having friends and making memories. Family is all about being there for each other. I really like the relationship between the sisters in the movie. I can't express how much I wish that things were like that with my sister. Sisters are for sticking up for each other, telling the bitter truth, and giggling... a lot. I hope there is still time!

My friend wrote something that I really liked, and I'm going to quote him:

"I love the quote at the end of the movie, “Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.” As important as it is to have a plan, a goal or a destination in mind, what is exceedingly more important is the people we meet along the way, how they touch our lives and how we touch theirs."
~The Big Bags

I know he didn't mean that for me, but isn't it funny that our friends can always say things we need to hear, even though my Mom said something similar to me earlier today. My focus has been strung so tightly around plans, goals, and the finish line. I've completely forgot about the rest. How can a person get to the finish line without the people she meets along the way? I needed to be reminded that I need to be able to help others reach their goals too- I think that's where the surprises come in. The surprises are where the real lessons, real memories, and real happiness are. I'm going to make a resolution right now:
Stop and smell the flowers- take my time so that I can truly be ready for those surprises, and for my friend's and family's surprises too, because that is what life is actually all about.

Thanks for reminding me friend.

Happiness is...
~ Coming to a realization
~ Knowing you're not alone
~ A comforting hug
~ Lemon flavored candies
~ Knowing what to do next
~ Dan in Real Life

"Love is not a feeling... it's an ability."
~ Marty in Dan in Real Life

A Fond Fairwell

2008-03-18T15:23:00.000-06:00

The last conversation between Tiff and Dodge “The Boat” Intrepid before he died:

It’s a gloomy gray day. Tiff timidly steps into the Vehicle Hospital (aka Auto Collision Repair). She slowly walks towards The Boat keeping her head low, not looking at anyone else in the face. Stopping at his side, she pulls up a stool with a light screech across the cement flooring.

How’re you feeling Big B?

Boat weezes and gives Tiff a tired smile.

I’ve been better T. The Doc says I don’t have much time left.

(Pause) I know. I’m… I’m so sorry for what happened. It was a careless mistake, I should’ve paid more attention, should’ve waited to leave till I was awake, should’ve driven slower, should’ve…

Shush. Let’s not dwell on the should’ves, would’ves, and could’ves. We had a good time together! Right till the very end. I’ve got no regrets! Let’s remember all of the good times instead of the alternative. Remember the first time you ever drove me? When you were 15?

(Gives a sad giggle) Yeah I remember. I was so nervous! I kept forgetting which pedal was the gas and which was the brake– Mom was probably on the verge of having a heart attack! I remember we went to he library and went to park, but instead of pressing on the brake to park, I hit the gas and we sailed over the grass divider and got high centered. I was so embarrassed!

I was embarrassed for you! But if I recall correctly, that was the last time you ever got them mixed up…

Why do I always have to learn things the hard way?

(Snickers) You know, all of my favorite memories are from last summer– all the adventures we went on. Like all those times you and Twin went to Southern Utah.

Those are mine too! Like driving to Grandma and Grandpa’s place in St. George, and staying at Clint’s condo. That was the weekend we went to Zion’s and hiked the Emerald pools and accidentally got soaking wet!

You’re soaking clothes cooled me down though, it was a hot day!

I like the weekend when we went to the Sorensen Ranch outside Bryce Canyon and got you so dirty! You probably still have orange sand in your engine and trunk. That was the time we drove through Mount Carmel– seeing it through your windows was beautiful. You watched us hike Angel’s Landing that time too!

I couldn’t believe you did that, what with your horrible fear of heights! I was rooting for you the whole way up.

Oh what about the time I accidentally took you four-wheeling through Strawberry to find our campground? I have to say I did some excellent driving…

You did some excellent driving? No way! Girl, without my determination to get us the heck out of there, off of those boulders and dug out spots, we never would’ve made it.

Let’s call it a team effort then.

Deal. Ooh, what about the trip to California? To the BYU vs. UCLA game! That was mucho steezy.

Agreed! That road through the Mojave desert was like a roller coaster– so fun! It went on forever. I loved going to Santa Monica with you too. Despite the salty, garbage-y smell, it was still a beautiful place.

It was. I liked driving through LA– I wish the flow of traffic could be that fast up here!

I think though, my favorite memories are still of all of the early morning trips to Park City. I loved how your trunk could fit everyone’s gear, and still have room.

(Smirks) What can I say? I can fit some serious junk in my trunk! My favorite part of those trips were the amazing sunrises we got to see. It was so incredible how gorgeous the pinks and oranges of the sky stood out against the snow capped mountains. I loved going through Midway too, the icy fog hanging around those old houses and fields. Beautiful.

I loved that too. Wow. I’m glad we had such a good time together!

Before the conversation could continue, Doc puts his hand on Tiff’s shoulder.

I’m sorry, but it’s time.

Stunned, Tiff looks back at Boat. Her chin quivers slightly as she tries to choke out a goodbye.

I love you too Tiff.

Without a word, Tiff hugs Boat tightly. She sighs as she turns to walk away, silent tears running down her face. She pauses a few steps away and looks back.

I’ll never forget you!

Boat smiles as she waves and walks out into the ever darkening sunset– seemingly to forever onward have to beg and bum for rides and to worry constantly about how she’ll ever get to where she needs to go in life...

Happiness is...
~Having friends and family that'll help me get from A to B
~Making movies
~Finishing the Book of Mormon
~Warm Pre-Spring days
~Acoustic nights
~Soup, salad and breadsticks from the Olive Garden

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
~Erma Bombeck

Goggle Tans

2008-02-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

Over President's Day weekend (Feb. 15-18) I finally got to teach my own group of kids up at Park City! It was so much fun- I feel I must recap the highlights:

Friday: So this was my very first day having my very own class. I got to teach 4 super cute kids- Sierra (5), Vinny (8), Lyna (7) and Jordan (8). These kids came from all reaches of the States and were definitely excited to learn to board. Lyna (pronounced L-EEE-nah, not Lie-nah or Lay-nah. For the first hour I kept saying it wrong and she would yell, "It's LEEEEEENAH!") was quickly discouraged and I had a hard time getting her to get off her butt and try, but she was cute, so I was quick to forgive. After we had been out for a while and were all getting to be pally, she says to me, "You know Tiff, everybody really likes you... but I just like to fight with you!" That was the darned funniest thing I've ever heard! Cute girl, a pain, but cute. Jordan was a little smarty pants that really just craved attention. It's a good thing that I only had him for one day, because he was exhausting! I had to keep telling him to quit talking and let me do the teaching, but he picked it up fairly quickly. Vinny was definitely my favorite! He was the sweetest, cutest little boy I've ever met! He was such a natural too- it was so fun to be able to just show him what he needed to do and have him pick it right up. By the end of the day, i had him liking turns and doing ollies with me. I wish all kids could be like him! Sierra was such a sweetheart too. She just plain didn't have the body weight to be able to utilize the board though. Try as she might, she just couldn't get the board to do anything she wanted. She kept saying, "This is so hard!" with the most despaired look on her face. Then I would reply, "No! You can do it! You're amazing!" and she would grin big and we would go down together- me holding her little hands. We had alot of fun together, and they all played nice too. It was fun boarding and taking a break halfway through the morning to play in the snow together. I loved those kids and it was so fun to see them over the whole weekend.

Saturday: This day I had a group of older kids, which made me realize how much more I liked instructing the younger ones. My group was Jean (10) Danielle (11) Nicole (10) Jon (12) and Eric (10). Everyone was progressing really well with one-footed turns, we didn't even have to hike back up and do it all again- we just sailed straight to the lift. The entire day was smooth- everyone got to linking their turns before lunch; well all except Jon. He was, by far, the hardest student I've had- and I think I will ever have. Here was his major problem: the boy could not stand up on his own. Ugh. Every, single time he fell, I would have to help him stand. This was not always an easy task. Jon was taller than me and definitely weighed at least the same as me. Allow me to paint this scene for you:
We're at the top of the hill, my class and I. I tell the rest of the group (meaning minus Jon) to make 4 turns and stop by the time they get to the 3rd pole down. They go and are there within 2 minutes. Great I think to myself. I do a quick 180 to face Jon, remind him of how to make the turn (Remember, it's all in your feet!) and help him up. While he's standing I do a demo for him-2 turns- and 180 to face him. He starts down, makes a great heel-side turn starts to make the toe side turn (Meanwhile I'm instructing him on what to do next with encouraging remarks) and he flops over. I unstrap, hike up to him, and we do it all over (only sometimes, after I do the turn demo he falls over without even starting). Clearly, thinks I, I need to use a different approach. But, it's already lunchtime and my kids have been waiting a half hour for us to make it down to where they are. OI!
Well, I tell my class to strap out and follow me down a little goat trail off the side of First Time. I unstrap myself, help Eric get one of his straps unstuck and look around to make sure everyone has gotten out ok. I scan and notice that Danielle is standing without her board, looking a little sheepish. "Where's you're board girl?" I ask, panic already setting in because I'm no fool and already know what it's fate has been.
"Uhm..." is all she says and points down the hill. I mumble a few curses under my breath and say, "Ok, let's go!" My head is spinning- I'm tired already from heavy lifting and hiking the same mountain over and over, we're late for lunch (we have a specific lunch time), and I've got a lost board. Just chill... I have to repeat that over and over again.
Well, long story short (since this is already a long story) We found the board underneath one of the lodges balcony, we were only 10 minutes late for lunch, and we all had a good time anyway. Lots of joking around and fun-ness. All of my kids said they had a good time and wanted to come again- even Jon. Ten points for me! But I just have to say that I've never been so tired in my life.

Sunday: These next two days were hard, but so much fun! I had the same group of 4 girls for both days and we had alot of fun. Since this blog has taken about three weeks to write i'm going to condense this as much as possible:
Tess (10) Isabelle (9) Tara (8) Cassie (9) all picked it up quickly- though Cassie never could make her toe-side turns, instead she would just do a 180 and head down with the wrong foot forward (frustrating!). Tara ended up being the best rider with Isabelle at a close second. By the end of the day they were all cruisin (minus Cassie, poor girl) down the hill. It was so much fun to have a class that I could finally ride with- I wish I could do classes like that all the time instead of the Never-Ever groups. We had a wicked awesome snowball fight at the end of the last day and I think the girls really had alot of fun.

I really love this job- I'll definitely do it again next season!

Happiness is...
~Teaching somebody how to do something you love
~Success in your endeavors
~Clif Bars
~Tea in the morning
~Driving through Midway
~Boarding several days in a row
~Goggle Tans

"snowboarders like to attack the mountain, slashing, spinning, tumbling, going backward, blasting through snowdrifts, leaping off cliffs, getting their noses pierced in midair, etc."
- Dave Barry

Apology and Sillyness

2008-01-30T02:45:00.001-07:00

First off I want to apologize for getting on my rant wagon last post, I have made a new decision to not post my annoyances with people (though there are many) unless they really, really deserve it. For the record, "Lonesome Dove" is a really good friend and I am no longer irked by his remarks on the subject and I finally dealt with "Frequent Ringer" which was the Daily Herald wanting to confirm my address... So all things are well. I have moved on.

On the subject of someone who really, really deserves to be mocked... or possible drawn and quartered is a group of BYU students who insist on wearing their beliefs on their sleeve and force them on the rest of the community. A new friend directed me to a news article and CNN report on these "hearty" students: (a KSL report)

Some students say health club is showing pornography
January 16, 2008

Sam Penrod reporting

Some college students in Utah County are calling some music videos pornographic, and they are trying to get a health club to take them off its screen.

The controversy involves two Gold's Gym locations in Utah County frequented by BYU and UVSC students. Five organizations are banding together to keep the videos from being shown at the gyms.

The organizations that fight pornography in the community are upset with the videos at the gym and say they have collected nearly 1,000 signatures on a petition calling on Gold's Gym to quit showing the videos.

Gold's Gym officials here in Utah agreed to hear their concerns this afternoon, as the students prepared to protest.

The Gold's Gym near the BYU campus is one of 19 Gold's Gyms in Utah. A majority of this gym's customers are BYU students. Dallen Johnson says, "I've had to leave, honestly! There have been four times I've run out of the cardio cinema because of racy and inappropriate things being shown, things I personally view as pornography."

The students have documented five music videos played on the Gold's Gym music video network which they call objectionable. Jesse Yaffe says, "Once you are a member here, you basically don't have the choice anymore. You're forced to watch indecent material because it seems everywhere you go there's a TV. They've got the Gold's Gym membership network, and certain videos they play are extremely indecent, and some are outright pornography."

The protesters say Gold's Gym is not the only business they are concerned about. "The things I see the most is people have no idea how it affects people and how widespread it is and how serious of an issue it is," says Nicole Braden.

Managers at Gold's Gym told Eyewitness News today they use Gold's TV network instead of cable channels like MTV to offer more conservative videos but can't control individual videos that are shown.

They say cardio machines have individual monitors which allow gym members to watch any channel they want.

Gold's says music helps to energize people who are there to exercise and say they don't want anyone to be offended at the gym during their workout experience.

The students gave Gold's 10 days to remedy their concerns before they start picketing the health club. They outlined four specific issues they'd like resolved:

* No rated R movies or sexually explicit or racy PG-13 movies.

* Change the content of Gold's Broadcasting Network or don't show the Network.

* Keep external TV's on decent and clean stations, or let members choose the channels themselves.

* Install blinds on the aerobics room to block the dancing, which is very provocative.

Did anyone else think to themselves What the..? Because I did. I find it extremely annoying that people, particularly BYU students are just LOOKING for things that would offend them. I have never been in Gold's and thought to myself, "Gee, people in skimpy workout clothes, Janet Jackson music videos and 45 year old ladies in a jazzercize class is really offensive!" Who in their right mind would?? All off these things that the students are complaining about can be fixed of their own accord without bringing anybody else into the equation. All of the machines have their own TV sets on them- Change the channel! Bring and ipod with you if you don't like the music and don't watch the particular monitor with the videos if you view girls in tank tops as "porno". Nobody is forcing you to do your cardio workout in the movie cardio room, if you don't like the movie, QUIETLY leave and watch something on one of the cardio machines with a TV on it. And, for the record, they do not show R movies or racy films either- i would know, i'm there every day! Businesses like Gold's do not need to cater to your every wit and whim. And for heaven's sake, stop getting "offended" at such nonsense! do something constructive with yourself, like make ice cubes or stick your nose in Bro. Bednar's "take no offense" talk. Ya know, learn a thing or two about taking a chill pill. Sheesh. Now all i have to look forward to in the movie cardio room are films like "Ernest Goes to Camp" or "My Little Pony-Remastered". Can you work out effectively to Disney movies? No.

Maybe i should protest these students and tell them i'm offended by their lack of intelligence. Hm...

Happiness Is...
~New Friends that have a great sense of humor
~ Homemade Salsa
~Guitars, and people who sing with them
~Hangout time with Dad
~Velour Live Music Gallery
~Sleeping in

Until next time!

~Tiff

"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."
-Salman Rashdie

Eye Rollers

2008-01-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

You know, I find it particularly frustrating when I come to the realization that some people are just plain ridiculous. If I may, I'm going to take a moment to write down some recent "Eye Rollers" that have come to may attention:
Exhibit A. (Lonesome Dove) This one requires some background information- The end of November last year (07) I briefly "dated" a boy. I say briefly because it lasted about 3 weeks and I say "dated" because I probably saw him about 3 times within the time-frame and talked to him even less. Pointless, I know. He initiated this "relationship" with me and then promptly disappeared and left me to be the only one that contacted the other. How hard is it, no matter how busy you are, to call just to say "hi"? It's not. 5 min. That's all it takes. Anywho- I happen to know that he is complaining about being single and lonely. I have one thing to say to that- dude, if you want a relationship, you have to make the time for it. If you're not willing to put anything into it, you'll get nothing. Obviously.
*Eye Roll*
Exhibit B. (Unavoidable Aches ) Why on earth would you go to the dentist to get your teeth checked, then not get your teeth fixed? That's like washing your hair, but then not styling it. Or like buying a new shirt, but never wearing it. It just doesn't make any sense! It's frustrating to have my time wasted by people who, for inexplicable reasons, want clean teeth but want then them to continue rotting out of their heads. I know I'll be hearing back from these people with tooth aches that could have been avoided. One thing to say to these people- Don't even bother. If you aren't going to fix the problem anyway, why have it checked? Stop wasting my time.
*Eye Roll*
Exhibit C. ( Frequent Ringers) The last couple of days I have had unknown people call my cellular device several times in one day (during the day when I'm, you know, trying to make a living) without leaving a message! Why would you call someone 8 times, without success, and never leave a message? Then, when I have tried to call these people back, they don't answer! Ugh. I have one thing to say to these unknowns- Call once, and only once. Leave a message. Stop being obnoxious.
*Eye Roll*

Ok. I'm going to get off of my rant wagon and be more upbeat. Today I worked out my schedule so that I could go on a road trip with three of my friends, Carrie, Jon and David, to Arizona for President's day weekend. I am so excited! We have a place to stay for all of the nights and we have lots of fun, relaxing, warm things to do down there. It's going to be great to get away from the cold, which can be very damaging to one's morale.

More Park City training this weekend! I think I get to shadow this week, so hopefully I'll be teaching within the next couple of weeks.

Book Review: Chronicles of Narnia #3- The Horse and His Boy
I absolutely love C.S. Lewis. I love his parallels with Aslan and Christ. The lessons that Aslan teaches in this book I think I have liked the very most. The message that stood out the most to me is that through our trials and through our "adventures", Christ is there beside us, guiding us even though we may not see it till later. Please read this one :)

Happiness is...
~Rock Band (yes, the video game like Guitar Hero)
~Wearing a bandana while snowboarding (especially the one i have because it's red with little geisha on it!)
~Electric Blankets
~Penguin Slippers (a gift from Ashby :) )
~Finding a long lost friend (Ofa!)
~Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's
~Honey and Butter on toast

~Tiff

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?
~W.S. Gilbert

Literature Review #1

2008-01-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

Here are my reviews of the last couple of books I have read this month:

1. The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman by Louise Plummer
This is a fun, simple story of a girl, about 18, writing her love story while sarcastically making fun of romance novels. This book was so great because it reminded me that every girl has quirks that make them unique, which is ok! (Kate, the main character, has coke-bottle glasses that make her eyes look gi-normous, and she is super tall) I would recommend this book to any girl (and guy if you're the sensitive type :) ) who needs a quick pick-me-up.

2. Godless by Ann Coulter
I really enjoyed this book because of the quick witticisms and sarcasm that Ann is so well known for. In this book, she goes through many points that make the "godless church of liberalism" a religion. I agreed with many of her points, and agree with her that far leftists are trying to redefine the foundation of American ideals to not include religion, truth, and security. (I am trying to be careful by what I say on this subject because I know it can be a sensitive one.) I would recommend this book to anyone who wants a sarcastic, conservative view on ethical issues in a political perspective.

3. Next by Michael Crichton
This was a very interesting read, as is usual for Crichton. It is about biological engineering in today's world- patenting genes, gene therapy, transgenic animals, and genetics in the courts. The book follows several different characters whos plots intertwine and meet together at the end. I love how Crichton always does research for his novels, which make them almost plausible. Wouldn't it be interesting to have a need to have laws that protect our cells? I would recommend this book to the other Bio nerds out there, like me. Though, be warned, it has quite crude language.

It's a good thing that I'm not required to do book reviews for a magazine or anything like that. I just don't know how to go into interesting details! Anyway, if you have questions about any of the books I review, let me know.

Happiness is...
~ Getting a new calling you know you'll love
~ Finishing a book
~ Starting a new book!
~ Homemade salsa
~ "Blue Goodness" (bolthouse farms nutrition drink)
~ Licorice jelly beans
~ Going to the gym first thing in the morning

Until next time!

Tiff

“Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.”

-C.S. Lewis

First Blog Ever

2008-01-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

Here I am, writing my first blog and wondering to myself do i really have that much to say that I can actually use a blog? That's what my mom said when I told her i was making a blog, "I don't think I would have enough to say to fill out a blog!" But every now and then, I really do feel like I have something to say that maybe other people would care to read about. I suppose only time will tell.

Two whole weeks have passed in the New Year and I've formally told myself (formally meaning I wrote a list that sticks to my mirror) that I would actually accomplish some goals for myself this year. I decided I would do resolutions by semester, since that is the way I gage time by. Here are my goals for the next four months:

1. Go to the gym after school- ALWAYS
2. Run a full mile (no jogging, just running)
3. Graduate with my 2 year degree
4. Apply to both the Secodary Ed. Biology and Political Science Majors
5. Serve someone each week
6. Make a by-semester-academic-plan for my 4 year degree
7. Be more patient

So far, that means within the last 2 weeks, I think I've done fairly well! I will post my progress so I have to confess to my shortcomings, and celebrate my accomplishments.

I keep a small journal filled with things in my life that make me happy, it's called the "Happiness Is..." book. The last little while I have put quite a few things, and I think I'll post my Happiness Is stuff here too, maybe it'll help whoever reads this to think of the things that make their life worth living, even the little things.

Happiness Is...
~ Crashing into powdery snow, going fast :)
~ Working out so hard it hurts to walk
~ Carcassone (the game)
~ Green t-shirts
~ Getting the job you wanted SO badly (Snowboard Instructor at Park City!!)
~ Having someone confide in you
~ Making friends with a complete stranger
~ The smell of baking muffins
~ Looking at pictures from an awesome vacation (Lake Powell with Kayla and Tiff B.)
~ Guitar Hero
~ The nostalgia from listening to Michael Jackson

Those are the most recent ones :) I'll include some every time I post another blog.

I think that'll do it for my first post. I have to go take care of one of my goals (gym/running one mile) so I'll stop here. Until next time!

~ Tiff

" Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals."
-Aristotle